How often do you see your dm

[Holdupman]

My dm wants to see me every day she calls texts Mon stop and if I don’t answer I’m doing something awful

I love my dd but can’t imagine doing this to her
what does a healthy dm/dd relationship look like ???

I see mine once or twice a month, she lives an hour away. DH sees his mum once a year she lives 7 hours away.
If they lived closer we'd see them more but not every day.
Maybe your mums lonely, does she have her own friends and interests?

Speak on the phone every other day (sometimes 5 mins, sometimes 40). See her once every 5-6 weeks

About once every six weeks. She’s retired but busy with an amazing social life and lives three hours away. Speak about once a fortnight. WhatsApp random things most days.

It's been nearly two decades now and I don't think we're going to start taking tea together any time soon. 😁

If your mother makes you feel suicidal, there are options. Maybe hop over to 'relationships' and peruse the 'stately homes' thread. Look after yourself.

Once a year but i FaceTime her daily (my choice)

We live 4000 miles apart, so can only manage 1 trip to see her a year. Mind you, I spend a good solid 3 weeks with her, which compared to friends who have parents who live locally, actually works out to be more time with her than they manage.

Throughout the year, I call her every other day.

I see mine for a weekend every couple of months - she lives 200 miles away. If we lived close by, I'd probably see her every couple of weeks I think. We message each other fairly regularly.

I love my mum dearly and we get on really well in general, but I wouldn't want to see her every single day. I'm an adult with my own life. I don't think I know anyone at all who sees their mum every single day and I think a lot of adults would find that very suffocating and weird,.

It is certainly not normal for your mum to be phoning you with emotional blackmail and saying you are terrible if you don't see her or answer the phone. That is abusive.

I phone her every day, just to check that she’s ok and doesn’t need anything urgently and either DH or I will pop in with shopping or a newspaper every other day. But, she’s not in good health, she doesn’t do texts or WhatsApp and we have a good relationship. I like her, she’s not demanding and she doesn’t criticise or emotionally abuse me, so it’s not a chore and I don’t dread seeing her name pop up on my phone.

DH sees his mum a couple of times a year and they’ll talk every couple of weeks, but she’s much younger, in better health and has a much busier life.

In your position I would go nc. I know it’s not easy but if she’s got you to this state, I think it’s totally necessary.

Maybe your mums lonely

Her behaviour isn't a normal or proportionate reaction to loneliness, though.