Husband says I am!!

[jenniejennie]

Im having a bad day.

I really don't feel as if I am being argumentative with my husband. I am trying hard not to be. My face might look like "it's been slapped with a wet fish" (husbands favourite description of my moody face) but i'm trying hard not to criticise him or argue. The thing is he seems to have gone slightly mad recently.

Not only has he been emailing a pretty blond girl he had liasons with at university, he also seems to be testing me in every way imaginable. He has announced that he wants to attend an orthodox church where part of the service is in Russian. When I said - perhaps as a comprimise we could go to a normal CoE church on alternate weeks where they sing hymns his response was to say I had started an argument about it and to say "Why do you always try to stop me doing the things I enjoy?"

He has also announced that after 2 months of intensive weight loss he wants to start taking whey powder and "bulk up" again. Last time he did this I distincly remember him being moody and slightly agressive losing his temper easily, also I just dont want him to put on two stones of muscle and end up with a neck bigger than his head.

He also goes Thai Boxing and asked me "will I still be able to go Thai Boxing and enter a competition when the baby is born" when I replied that I wasnt sure he lost his temper and then rang his mum who said "of course you will darling".

Im sure this is a very biased account of things and im sure I am more emotional at the moment. I do feel quite agressive a lot of the time at the moment but I am putting such a lot of effort into trying not to start arguments its unreal. He says I dont like any of his hobbies but its not just that. Admitedly I dont share any of them and I feel they are all rather extreme and attention seeking but I dont want him to stop doing them. I try to comprimise or answer his questions honestly even where I dont agree with what he wants to do but he interprets that as me trying to stop him doing things.

I told him that emailing the pretty blong girl upset me and that he needed to reassure me, he did this by changing his email password so I couldnt read his emails. Reassuring....

How can I work out if it is me being hormonal and argumentative or him having some kind of "trying to hold onto his youth/ trying to keep his freedom/seeing how far he can push me" ie TanTrum!!!

well said WiiMii

jenniejennie am delighted I haven't sent you off in a flood of tears to get bulking up dh to come round and batter me!!

dizzy of course you havent, what you said is true, he should be looking after me. He shouldnt ring his mum to try and get a better answer than the one I gave him.

Its just in the back of my mind that I must be more emotional at the moment and I must be more agressive than normal. But that is why I know I am trying so hard not to be. He says my body language gives away the fact I dont want him to do these things. Surely it doesnt matter what I actually think, im bluddy proud of myself for not starting an argument, for trying to encourage some of the things he does and for not saying I dont want him to go out on a friday night. But all I get is "You are always trying to stop me doing the things I enjoy"

sound like you are a stronger lady then most others would be! myself included

jennie, I am a completely unreasonable wench but even I would tell you if I thought you were being remotely unreasonable - I would have flung the computer out of the window, told him to stick his orthazox church up his arse and if he wants his mammy's opinions that much he can sod off back and live with her then

but as I said I am compltely unreasonable and know it - you on the other hand are not
x

Its hard work not being unreasonable, im exhausted from it. Im sure his version of events would make me sound unreasonable. Its just so frustrating when I am trying so hard not to do the things he is saying I am doing. I have started to feel like i dont want to talk to him at all because he keeps asking my opinion about things and then it ends up like some kind of general studies debate at school where he loses his temper and says that I either dont like discussing things or dont like it when he has a different opinion to him. Its true that I have my opinions and stick to them and wont be swayed by anthing but im also happy for him to have different ones. I just dont enjoy having a debate about them.

I bought the computer and it doesnt work very well anyway so i might just chuck it out the window next time.

good for you!

everyone is entitled to be unreasonable at some point and please remember your body is working harder than it ever has done before and you should be in relative calm and quiet to help you rest before baby arrives, if he can't provide that then buy him a men only gym membership and tell him to take himself out and give you peace

you can then log onto his email AS HIM and send her a message telling her you've decided to release your full potential and have a sex change

see - job done, who says I'm terrible at relationship advice

anyone else?!?!?
xxxxxxxxxxxx

JennieJennie - just read through the thread, as you say he is bulking up with whey powder to get all muscly, are you sure that he isn't taking steroids? I used to have a body builder boyfriend who started taking testosterone, steroids and growth hormones, unsurprisigly it completely changed his personality. Apart from the fact he would fly off the handle and lose his temper at the most ridiculous things, he had completely bizarre flights of fancy and strange habits. It might explain the orthodox church thing and his shortness of temper.

I thought that too GetOrf, I think whey powder is just protein shakes. Just out of interest, why did he go on an intensive weight loss? Is he a body builder?

I would definitely have read his emails if i was suspicious of what he was up to-if he doesn't want you to read his mail then he should stop talking to women. And the fact that he just changed his password is not on, I would go mad. It's designed to make you more suspicious, if he really had nothing to hide I would expect himm to be more open about it.

Wondering if this blonde is Russian or Polish, could that be why he suddenly wants to go to these churches? Don't want to alarm you! But it's just a bit strange.

Just read the thread and was going to post exactly what the last few have re the steroids. It sprung into my mind when I read the OP straight away. At uni I lived with a guy who was into body building and he was on steroids, resulting in some very odd behaviour, culminating in him attacking me with a knife on my 21st birthday then slitting his wrists in my wardrobe. Not saying this is going to happen here, but it is something you need to rule out re possible steroid taking.

Thanks for all your comments. I dont think he is on steroids, he is just spoilt and used to getting his own way, problem with growing up with three brothers and always getting what he asks for from his mum. I think he is just jittery and trying to get attention.

Today we had a full day NCT antenatal class. I was in a foul mood on the way there. We werent even talking when we went into the class. Then they split us up into men on one side of the room, women on the other and asked us what we wanted labour to be like. I could hear him saying all the things I had been moaning at him about eg "to be aware of the pain relief methods so he can communicate my needs to the midwife if I cant do it" I was amazed to hear him say it as he keeps saying stupid caveman things when we are at home such as "my dad says he just let mum get on with it" and "I think WE should have a natural birth, its a natural process" He also asked me how I was feeling and if I was ok which was the first time he has done this for ages and ages. BlondBiTccchh lives elsewhere in the country and isnt russian no!

Also, he has deactivated his facebook account after our MASSIVE row yesterday and has told the blond beeeiiitch that he is moving to Greece next week. I am fully aware he has a screw loose but I dont think he is taking anything yet. He wanted to lose weight to get down to a lower weight category for thai boxing, but he realised he couldnt acheive it so he is now bulking up so that he will be big enough to fight the people in his weight category...... Something like that. Why he cant be normal is beyond me.