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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else really sensitive to films/tv/books since becoming a mum?

26 replies

Sarah493403940 · 18/07/2023 22:32

Just watched an episode of a series with a very sad / baby related scene. I won’t go into details and pass on the misery but god I hate it when accidentally exposed to these things as they really upset me and can’t stop thinking about them.

i can’t read any books or watch films where anything bad happens to kids or babies since becoming a mum. Anyone else have this? I used to love the handmaids tale for example but now the whole thing of peoples babies been taken away I find unbearable

OP posts:
PrudenceDictates · 18/07/2023 22:36

I'm autistic and used to be able to watch the worst things absolutely stoney faced. Nothing to do with me.

When I became a mother, however, I started crying at the news and every blooming slightly sad thing going!

Rainpigeon · 18/07/2023 22:37

Yes! I never used to cry at anything and now loads of things make me weep. My daughter is nearly 4 so I think it's a permanent change. It doesn't have to be child related, sentimental things make me cry too. I've cried at a few children's books! Paper dolls by Julia Davidson was one of them.

PrudenceDictates · 18/07/2023 22:39

I've cried at a few children's books! Paper dolls by Julia Davidson was one of them

Ha, yes! I had to give up my annual Christmas reading of The Grinch (to my infant classes) because I'd be blubbing at the end!

SittinOnTheDock · 18/07/2023 22:39

Rainpigeon · 18/07/2023 22:37

Yes! I never used to cry at anything and now loads of things make me weep. My daughter is nearly 4 so I think it's a permanent change. It doesn't have to be child related, sentimental things make me cry too. I've cried at a few children's books! Paper dolls by Julia Davidson was one of them.

It's impossible to read Paper Dolls without weeping.

Yellowlegobrick · 18/07/2023 22:41

Yup i have this. I can't cope especially with story lines involving children or mothers dying/being separated etc

Original poster
Sarah493403940 · 18/07/2023 22:42

Yes! I’ve also cried when reading paper dolls to my daughter…the kind granny in the girls memory 😭 and Yep I also avoid the news too.

pre-children I used to love disturbing films/books I think because they did make me feel something but now it’s waaaay too much!

OP posts:
Crunchingleaf · 18/07/2023 22:43

I found it to be a permanent change as eldest is now a teenager. I used to love horror movies before becoming a mother, but now I hate anything too violent or sad. It doesn’t have to necessarily be about kids to affect me. I am just softer.

Smartiepants79 · 18/07/2023 22:45

Me!
There are definitely things I struggle to watch now that I would have loved before I had my children.
Same for books.
Apocalyptic fiction is a particular issue for me now and I’m a science fiction fan. One of my favourite books was the day of the triffids!

Caoilte · 18/07/2023 22:45

I’m fairly hard, but I’ve never been able to reread Rumer Godden’s In This House of Brede since having DS, just for one scene anyone who’s read it will be able to identify. It comes into my head spontaneously any time I have to comfort or reassure him over the phone. I mean, it’s probably a good 20 years since I actually read it…

Passmethecrisps · 18/07/2023 22:48

I remember thinking I had become like an onion - so many layers I had no idea existed.

at points I would find children’s books almost impossible to get though - paper dolls, stick man and Peter rabbit (dad is pie!!) amongst many others. I moved past that mostly but what I have been left with is a deep fear of the unexpected. For example I had to turn of some nonsense action film (I think it was london’s falling) as I couldn’t cope with the opening scene of Big Ben falling down. I was genuinely heart pounding for all the lives unexpectedly cut short. I turned that off and ended up watching a cold case drama where bodies of babies were found. Weirdly I found that much more comfortable to watch - it was desperately sad but it didn’t feel ‘a risk’

WhatWhereWhenHowWhy · 18/07/2023 22:50

PrudenceDictates · 18/07/2023 22:36

I'm autistic and used to be able to watch the worst things absolutely stoney faced. Nothing to do with me.

When I became a mother, however, I started crying at the news and every blooming slightly sad thing going!

This^ Autistic and I've also been a social worker and seen some awful situations.
However since DD I am easily saddened by story lines and like you, it stays with me.

Passmethecrisps · 18/07/2023 22:50

And I cannot watch inside out without heaving in sobs. And that only gets worse the older they get

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 18/07/2023 22:52

Totally normal

Me and DH were both crying out eyes lit at the latest avatar. We went to see it at the cinema on a rare night off from the kids as a way to forget the drudgery of daily life and ended up bawling our eyes out.
Didn't expect that! Haha

EarringsandLipstick · 18/07/2023 22:55

Absolutely.

It's multi-faceted.

I don't want to watch / read something awful / gruesome / distressing as my time to do so is so limited so don't want to waste it on upsetting material.

Also, can't watch / read anything with kids involved, where they are hurt (including emotionally).

And storylines that I've always found sad, now become achingly so. I remember reading Anne Of Green Gables to my DD, and the Matthew storyline destroyed me so much, I could barely get the words out.

krafttcheesy · 18/07/2023 23:01

I barely watch TV at all because I'm just not able for anything sad, or scary or anything that might be 'based on true' events since becoming a mum ten years ago. I also find it hard to watch couples being happy or in love on TV (marriage is in poor shape) so i stick to The Chase, cooking shows and interior design.

mastertomsmum · 18/07/2023 23:03

Slightly different experience for me, I had preeclampsia, general anaesthetic birth. For quite a few years I had to record the weekly episodes of One Born Every Minute to seek the experience of birth I didn’t have and got closer to peace about what I perceived as ‘not giving birth’. I also could not watch people in dramas where the kids had a bad experience or the mother was lost. Notoriously the episode of Call the Midwife that dealt with preeclampsia that didn’t end well. That whole series was tricky for me. Honestly, though, watching some of all this media and drama was a successful therapy. NB my birth story is more complex than the initial description above.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/07/2023 23:03

Yes, 100%. I think it’s a well know “thing”

My mother tells me it goes away again when your kids are grown up though

vincettenoir · 18/07/2023 23:04

Yes this happened to me in pregnancy and lasted through DD’s infancy. Now she’s a bit older I can get back to gritty crime dramas etc.

PixiesAndUnicorns · 18/07/2023 23:05

Yes! I used to be tough, too. I cried at Matilda earlier today.

It’s actually pretty annoying, it’s ruined reading for me.

Passmethecrisps · 18/07/2023 23:12

Mind you. I read A Child In Time way before having children and that never left me. I will NEVER not think of it when in the supermarket

MyLordWizardKing · 18/07/2023 23:15

I've been the same since having children, my eldest is 9. I also seem to be more sensitive to anything remotely gory.

Mercibuckets · 18/07/2023 23:19

Oh my goodness totally yes. I watched Happy Valley with a gorgeous snuggly breastfeeding new born and was incredibly traumatised by it. It’s got a bit better but motherhood has changed everything.

TurquoiseDress · 18/07/2023 23:24

Yes this is me definitely!

Littlesprouts · 18/07/2023 23:30

When first DC was born think it coincided with Benedict Cumberbatch doing some 'child goes missing on holiday' type drama and there was a bit of a slew of them around then.

As I recall he'd also not long become a dad in real life, and I just couldn't understand why anyone would want to spend their time after that creating something so horrific.

I had to stop watching Sons of Anarchy before the end at around the same time - suddenly couldn't understand why anyone could make something so grim - and don't think I've watched a horror movie since.

GaspingGekko · 18/07/2023 23:58

A few weeks after the birth of DC1 my husband was watching a wildlife show about penguins. There was a baby penguin left alone on the ice and I found myself sobbing uncontrollably.

I thought it was my hormones being all over the place but although it has improved (except when I was pregnant with DC2 and sobbed all the way through finding Dory) I'm still much more sensitive to anything child related than I was befote having children.