Be so upset about not having another child

[SiberFox]

I had my baby a few months ago. This is the best thing that’s happened to me. It’s a rainbow baby and I feel so grateful and blessed to have them. There was a time I considered myself child free, and gosh I could have missed out on this. Now however instead of fully enjoying my baby, I have many moments of sadness that I will not be having another. Various reasons but the main one is my husband already has another adult child and does not want another; there are some health troubles too. I completely understand him - he already agreed to this baby even when he wasn’t super keen before (as I didn’t want kids when we got married) and I realise I’m incredibly lucky. I love him and we are happy together, it’s not about resenting him or anything. But I am so sad watching my girl grow so fast and knowing it’s my one and last time, and watching my friends have their second babies and knowing it will never be me; never another pregnancy, never another newborn and so on. I really don’t want to be like this. I don’t know if it’s hormones raging. If you have an only child, please can you share how that feels? I guess I just want to know that I’ll be okay with an only and my child will be happy too. I am content most of the time and very happy but this is spoiling the early days with my precious baby. I need to get a grip!!

Made me tear up, it’s exactly how I feel. Beautiful. My baby is contact napping and co-sleeping most of the time and I’m told I’m creating a rod for my own back - give me more of that rod 😅 I’m able to take this in and not rush and that’s a blessing.

I felt the same after two. Three probably wouldn’t have been enough either! It is normal (for some).

This. Seek strategies to be more present in the moment. You won’t get this time back.

Enjoy the contact naps! Obviously every baby is different but I did contact naps for all naps until he was about 14 months old, he transferred to cot naps with no bother. Its lovely to make the most of the snuggles, they won't want it forever xx

I knew when ds2 was born that our family was complete. Even so, when he turned 2, I did have a little mourning period of knowing that there would be no more baby stage for our family. It can be sad no matter how many you have. Let yourself be a bit sad, then move on to making the most of the family you have. There are benefits and drawbacks to any family size. For you there won't be all the juggle of one child being invited somewhere/wanting a hobby that the other one isn't invited to. 1 is more portable and more people will offer to babysit.

I’ve got 2 and I feel that too!

I have two now grown up children. I almost died having the first one so when I got pregnant again I was talked by the consultant into having the tubal the.
I agreed to this as I was terrified of the birth and spent my whole pregnancy in fear
Afterwards I kept wondering what if etc, and everyone around me kept having babies.The birth had been anther difficult one but I actually regretted it being the last one.It was the fact that never again would I have a new born baby to care for.
Now I am a great grandmother and see my grandchildren and great grandchildren as my babies.I know it is not the same, they will never be ''mine''
but it is some compensation.

I feel the same (but after my second)

I was sterilised after my second child was born. For lots of reasons (medical & choice) it is right for our family to stop at two children. I am incredibly lucky to have two happy healthy children & I never ever planned or wanted more than 2.

However, now my baby is growing and approaching one I feel sad that I'll never have another baby and milestones often have a pang of sadness that it's the end of another stage I'll never get again.

Back in the real world I don't like being pregnant, was seriously ill and I don't particularly enjoy the baby stage in comparison to the toddler years.

I think any finality is hard to cope with & brings sadness. I think you need to accept that it's normal and okay to feel that way but also know that you can feel that way without responding to them / acting on it / having another child.

If your marriage is otherwise happy and you love your partner and they're a good father I think you'd be mad to leave your family unit for more children but everyone has different views.

Take lots of time to think about all your options and don't make emotional decisions.

The urge to have a second when my only was a baby was intense. I would gaze at her gorgeous little face and just want more of it. Part of me was sad that I was only having one but equally I was really present with her and truly enjoyed her babyhood and toddlerhood because it was my only chance.

She is 5 now the broody feelings disappeared when she was 2. I’m so grateful to have her, only one school run, one set of after school activities, holiday activities and bed time to manage. I have loads of free time now she is at school to pursue my hobbies and interests and yet I get to spend all the school holidays with her.

The baby days were a much simpler time but it’s amazing watching this tiny baby develop into a real person with their own ideas and personality. Having one child really is a joy anymore for me would be a chore and I’m glad I didn’t listen to my broody self!

Absolute rubbish. Every single person created has a significant effect.

@byvirtue A really nice perspective, thank you.

@blahblahlandgoogoodoll yes, you’re didn’t, it’s the finality I’m struggling with. It’s helpful to know others have the same feelings with 2-3-4 children. Definitely not leaving in search of another baby x

I have had 3 and felt this way after each one (even the unplanned one!)

It wore off after a few months thankfully!

I felt like this after me second who was also a rainbow baby. Even if age wasn't against us I always said we couldn't have another as I found the pregnancy mentally tough - all of it. Lost babies, high risk pregnancy and then once he safely arrives my body starts staying oh wouldn't another be wonderful.

Luckily my rationale brain said no - we could not go through another pregnancy.

But the craving for another was definitely still there