to be upset about chemical pregnancy?

[Nailswithhearts]

I came off the pill after our wedding. DH is a bit older and really ready for kids but I’ve been a bit more hesitant. We’ve been doing the tracking ovulation and pull out to avoid pregnancy but both accepted that if it happened that’s fine. If the world was perfect, I would want to get pregnant in January - it would be ideal with my work schedule etc.

However, this month I had spotting, clear early pregnancy symptoms and no period. DH didn’t understand the need for early (expensive) tests so bought cheapies. First one showed a slight line but then I started bleeding and clots came out. Tests are negative since. I can’t be certain I was pregnant but I think / feel I was.

stomach still cramping, it’s not like a period, but bright clumps of blood / tissue are coming out (sorry TMI). I didn’t think I’d be bothered and have been laughing it off. I wasn’t ready etc

I can’t stop crying, I’m now so anxious, DH is sad but doesn’t get my upset or that I’m asking a lot of him emotionally right now. That I need him to be with me and watching pointless tv together whilst I’m still bleeding.

Am I BU for feeling this way? I don’t understand why I’m so upset.

8 years ago, I could have written this exact post myself. I had 2 chemicals and they were an absolute mindf**k! TTC is such an anxious time and I'm also an anxious person so this convinced me I'd have problems. I now have a 7 year old and a 4 year old. Hang in there 💐

I had a chemical pregnancy 13 years ago. It's really hard, please go easy on yourself.

It's unpleasant. I had a CP and started bleeding on St Stephens Day (26th Dec) in MILs House. I had tested 1-2 weeks pregnant on the digital the day before. I couldn't tell anyone because it was a family event but I did tell DH later. It made me feel flat and disappointed and it spoiled Christmas for me a bit, which was a shame because we had a two year old too and I wanted a magical Christmas with her. Totally normal to feel upset. I now have two children, so it all worked out eventually, although it took a few years to have number two.

Thanks all. I think I’m conflicted because it wasn’t “real” in any tangible sense but I feel like I’ve lost something. I think it’s my hormones rebalancing and I just feel so over the place. I’m also so exhausted.

DH just thinks I’m being selfish and it’s just started a fight instead. I’m trying to explain why I’m so hurt and upset but feel like I’m going round in circles. I feel very isolated.

It's your hormones, along with the idea if losing something you thought you had.

You said yourself you don't want to be pregnant until January so perhaps reconsider your contraceptive method if that's the case!

YANBU. Massive hugs 💐

A close relative once had a pregnancy of unknown location, like an ectopic but no damage to tubes. I know she grieved for it and so did her mum and I. We tried to tell ourselves we hadn't lost anybody but we had, we lost the dream of what might be. Let yourself feel it. You need to.

You’re not unreasonable in the slightest. I had a CP very recently and held the emotions in for two months. They came flooding out a couple of weeks ago and it felt unbearable at points.

Please take amazing care of yourself and lean on others where possible. It’s an awful experience.