Have you ever had a thread removed when you weren’t actually a troll?

[Yoghurtpit]

I always wonder this. Sometimes I comment on a thread then it’s gone as it’s ‘not genuine’ etc. But I wonder if sometimes the facts are changed a little to protect confidentiality and really the essence of the story is true? This happened to me many years ago now and I still remember feeling like I was at my lowest then that happened! Everything I had put was actually accurate but the situation must have seemed so awful it was unbelievable to some posters.

Not remover but I did have loads of people disbelieving me and troll
hinting (typo but hinting is quite apt actually) and saying things like ‘No way can this be real’ etc.

Some people can only view and understand things through their own experience (or inexperience might be more apt).

Someone decided to ask that their post was deleted for privacy reasons after I suggested they needed to find emergency childcare not take a sicky from work, when their attendance was already under management review, when their DC was ill.

@HonoriaLucastaDelagardie
@SpainToday

He survived. We are still coming to terms with the surgery. He is working part time but more importantly we are still together and love each other.

Thank you

It was really in response to this comment:

They do get it right often though. Stuff pops up there and ends up deleted here all the time.

Haha! Maybe some folk thought you were training cats as part of a nationwide burglary scheme?!

Because in a social set-up where people, especially mothers, can feel isolated and separate, MN functions as a sort of watering-hole where women can find a peer group to talk to about anything that's on their minds? I think that's why it's so successful.

Was the thread about you?

Tbh the twins thing isn't just in isolation. The twins are usually 2 of mutiple children, severe disabilties tend to be involved, also add an absent father and no one, not a single soul around who can help. The OP usually cannot drive, lives in a totally isolated area, and buses only come once every full moon. Extra points if they're about to be made homeless as well, their beloved animals cannot be rehomed no way, but they can't get help from the council because they've no internet connection.

While of course each of these situations can exist, them occuring altogether does make me raise an eyebrow. But the people lap it all up.

Yes. Many years ago I had a thread deleted and got banned.

I was actually in a really bad place at the time in my relationship and my partner had thrown something and something had got broken. I got absolutely ripped to pieces by a lot of people who said that it could never happen and I was making it up.

I honestly can't understand it, it wasn't a particularly far fetched story. A household item has been thrown and bounced and broken something.

Got torn apart, reported and banned. So yeah, thanks for that mumsnet.

I think this forum is vile on the whole but I've learnt to stick mainly to the lighter topics which can be nice and friendly.

Yes! I had a thread removed with the message claiming I was a previously banned poster and then I was banned from MN because my posts were inconsistent and I wasn’t a genuine poster.

What really happened is I had a thread where some people didn’t like the terminology I used. MN removed it and claimed I was previously banned.

I had never been banned - I had another account beforehand for an email address I forgot the password for, so MN closed that account so I can open a new one.

My inconsistent posts were because I change my personal info when I post to avoid being outing. MN actually set me a list of everything I had written to show I was fake, yet they didn’t see the common theme - I had been married for less than 5 years and had one young toddler. I had simply changed how long I had been married, or the age and sex of my child, but nothing else was made up. I explained everyone on MN does it, but they didn’t accept that.

The not being a genuine poster was then because they blamed other offensive posts on me. I had reported racist posts and they then claimed those posts were mine!

It was complete nonsense, which is why I know don’t assume every deleted post is a troll.

I think I remember having one taken down. No idea why. I'd had a nice evening and maybe a teenie weenie drink, then posted a thoughtful, witty and intelligent thread opening post which people may have wrongly mistaken for incomprehensible slurred gibberish. Maybe I had an 'off' bag of crisps between drinks.

I remember a few years ago someone asking for advice about a very sensitive situation which involved another person. She had changed various details to preserve anonymity, but people picked away so much at the 'inconsistencies' that in the end it became clear which details had been changed.

I hate it when people do that. Even when people say that they've been coy about the details, so as not to be outing, but that they do know what they're talking about, some others really are like a dog with a bone.

There was one only the other week where the OP (teacher) was obviously really upset at several young children independently asking her if she was a boy, wondering if everybody really secretly thought she looked like a man. The number of posters who were insisting on their theory that the kids had made it up together as a silly game in the playground or passed a rumour through the school.

OP eventually felt forced to declare that she was a supply teacher - which obviously narrows it down somewhat if anybody knows her - and this had happened at several completely different schools. It completely derailed the thread and very obviously made her feel worse when she'd originally just come on seeking some genuine support. No need for it whatsoever.

I think that’s actually disgusting.

And of course people change small details – it’s a simple (and completely inconsequential) way of making yourself less identifiable.

For the purposes of a post or thread it likely won’t matter if it’s a brother or a sister you’re talking about or if you’re married or cohabiting, etc.

I've been outted on MN, I now change some things in my posts - DD/DC or DH/partner, age (by a few years) , number of DC and some events of the story behind my post eg location, event eg "I went to the theatre with my girlfriends and we all fell out coz J lost her bag" This might become "we went to a show, the group fell out coz K lost her coat/purse/phone" The theme of the post still stays the same, just the detail may change to protect me being outted

Totally agree

I know. What makes it worse is I only started changing details after a thread of mine went viral, including appearing on the Daily Mail, which resulted in a couple of people in real life knowing something very personal about me (I had posted about an incident, and then as the thread developed, explained why I had acted the way I did).

So I even explained to them that I had to protect myself after they didn’t protect me, so I change details, but nope, it’s not allowed apparently and can get you banned - even though most people on MN do it.

It’s made me super careful about what I post now.

Always be aware that posts can wind up on social media and others may recognise the author IRL

Yes I've been banned.
Old account. Posting various scenarios from different perspectives but labelled a troll.
Probably not the best way to seek advice but desperate at the time.
Changed details as didn't want to be recognised. Outed or in the daily fail.

Did about 3 reverse threads. Not good.
But thought if anyone recognised the details or it ended up somewhere else they would think it was the other person not me.
Not the best idea but did get some advice that helped.

I have had threads removed ( not by choice ) I often get attacked on my own threads. Mostly I don't want the thread removed I also don't want nasty comments removed . I want them to stay so genuine posters /readers can see how that poster is rolling and it kind of shames them. Where if it's all deleted it kind of covers their shit up.

@FrugalKisses wrote that one of the things troll hunters look for as a sign that the OP is a troll is that they don't update every five minutes.

I'd add another one where they call troll- if they DO update regularly. You can't win.

There's a deletion message for threads that goes 'while we take a look behind the scenes'. I always wonder what that means but reading these stories I'm starting to get an idea.

Yes.

I posted in AIBU about something and I was misunderstood. My mental health issues escalated badly. And stupidly instead of just leaving I posted that I was tempted to self harm again and asking them to be gentle.

this was interpreted that I was saying this was emotional blackmail because 98% of people had told me I had been unreasonable. I had mentioned my mental health issues so wasn't a dripfeed and explained I was fragile as recovering from a recent breakdown for which I was in intensive outpatient psych treatment.

still they piled on and even accused me of making up my health issues (had also mentioned my physical disability in The thread). I grew up in an abusive family where I was scapegoated for being disabled so this triggers me into an emotional flahsback. As well as CPTSD, I been diagnosed with a personality disorder and don't always put myself across well.

it was stupid of me to post. In fairness, I will say that i was partly BU in one of the things I posted about.

I posted a thread about how I was attacked verbally and threatened on a bus because I was sat in the priority seats due to a hidden disability that is quite unusual (not many have heard of my diagnosis). This was in the day long before lanyards. A young man with a chromosome disorder got on and had to sit in a non priority seat and this woman yelled at me and threatened me for not getting up for him and giving him my seat. I should mention I am very fat and the woman didn't believe I was handicapped and kept telling me "obesity isn't a disability, you lazy ***._I want to slap the fat out of you." She went on screaming and screaming in my face.

now the one way in which I was in the wrong was that my bag was on the seat next to me and I hadn't noticed the young man when he got on. The posters who told me I should have not put my bag there were the ones in the right. I should have done that but the lady was telling me I wasn't disabled and shouldn't need the seat, she didn't address my bag being there. And I wasn't using my common sense and removing it . Just sat there frozen and shaking. Too stupid to think. So yes I was BU about my bag.

I agreed on mumsnet that I had BU about the bag, and I that i should have stayed in the seat with my bag on my lap so the young man could sit next to me. But other posters started piling in, telling me I was trolling , that my mental health issues were fake "because if I actually did suffer with anxiety when travelling I would not have stood up for myself at all." It just triggered me back to a feeling of not being believed again which made me feel worthless like I did when the gaslighting and other abuses were going on. And I wanted to hurt myself .

so yeah. I been accused of trolling .

I think that one big problem is the way that 'troll' is often used as an online version of 'bigot'.

On the one hand, it can easily refer to somebody whose opinions or actions are alien to, and considered grossly outrageous by, the vast majority of the population; but at the other end of the spectrum, it can just as easily be invoked by a minority (or even single person) with equally firm beliefs, a loud voice, a victim mentality and a remarkable ability to turn on the tears at will.

Yes a few!! It's annoying when you are being honest and someone calls you a troll etc.. it's v v hard to convince people you are not!

When you say 'but I am genuine' that doesn't go down too well! There is nothing you can say when someone has decided you r a troll or not genuine etc..

I've had a few threads removed so clearly my life is just not v believable!!

Also did a reverse thread and also accused of trolling and again making up mental issues.

it was during Covid testing and I had been exposed to someone close to me (my carer) who tested positive. I had to isolate for a week. I needed to pick up my medication and with no carer coming the day my weekly dosset box was due I had to do it myself. So I did it wearing two masks.

Then I realised I might be reported because although my test was negative it would be on record that I had ordered a test.

I began to panic. I also remembered that my friends and neighbour knew I was SI, and they had seen me leave my house! I began to worry I would be in trouble and have to pay a fine. I'm on disability benefits so not a lot of money.

I stupidly came on MN, and was afraid to admit it was me in case a MN user reported me. So I wrote it as a reverse. But I didn't write it v well , my English not the greatest. And my title was meant to say "AIBU to think would this neighbour would be reported?" But I wrote it as " AIBU that my neighbour should be reported" or "should report my neighbour ?"

i wrote it from the perspective of my neighbour who had seen me go to the pharmacy . And the backlash I got.

I had many people asking me "why didn't you drive to get your neighbours prescription yourself?" I said a few times that I couldn't drive and had problems of my own. I

"Well you're not as disabled as your neighbour " they said . I was getting annoyed by this point and said "you don't know that." They said " well she has a carer. " so I'm thinking ,whatever.

Then they said "you are horrible you have said your neighbour is anxious person and that she is currently telling you she is suicidal with panic, why are you on here asking us, instead of helping her?"

so I replied "I need someone to talk me down because I'm worried for her. She is struggling."

apparently I shouldn't have used the phrase "talk me down", I never understood why .

I said "I am anxious myself about this." _

They were like "you don't have anxiety anxious people don't report people out of spite."

I left the thread. My fault for doing a badly written reverse .

I still chuckle a bit at the assumption that having MH issues mean I am some kind of shrinking violet who never speaks up for herself . Like it seems on Mumsnet they have a stereotype of how MH issues present themselves ? Its weird .