Please help me with your opinions here. My husband and I have had a horrible row tonight, and he’s not speaking to me anymore. The back story is we’ve both been trying to lose some weight, and he’s lost more than me. I feel pretty self-conscious of the weight I’ve gained in lockdown, tbh, and I think he knows this. Tonight we watched a film together and were in a good mood. We were talking about how overweight the cat used to be. She’s been at the vet this week, and we were told she’d lost some weight since we last took her there.
I said, ‘We need to keep an eye on her to ensure she does not lose too much weight’, and my husband agreed. I said I needed to do a ‘weigh-in’ at the end of the week to check in on her (the cat) as we were both concerned. He said, ‘You two (as in me and the cat) can both do a weigh-in together!’ and started laughing. I then got upset as I felt he was making fun of me trying to lose weight, and I snapped at him, ‘With every pound you lose, you get more stupid’. He then got upset, saying that I was a bully and that I constantly attacked him. I explained why I got upset. He became adamant that he was not saying anything about my weight. After some thinking, he said ‘weight in’ is a term used in boxing, and he was joking about me and the cat having a boxing match. I didn’t believe him as, I felt he was making a joke about my weight as moments earlier I had been saying how fat the cat used to be. He then said I was putting him down by saying what I said and has now taken grave offence. I said something else about him checking out his muscles. As I had caught him
doing this in the week. He said I should say sorry. So I said ‘I’m sorry’, but he said he didn’t think I meant it and threw it back at me. He said he was offended I would think he was making fun of my weight. Sorry, this does all sound ridiculous as I'm typing it out. However, it's probably going to drag on for days now! It seems our arguments last longer and longer now, and no one wants to back down. We argued in June over something stupid and hardly spoke for days. He didn't get anything for my birthday, and I feel sad about this, tbh. I said to him, ‘Please let's not go to bed on an argument, it's silly, and it's over nothing’ He said he was not ready to forgive me and was refusing to speak! I feel gutted and sad. Indeed, I should not have said what I said. I was being defensive.
What I find so hard with him is he asks for apologies saying, ‘Say you're sorry if you don't want to escalate this,’ so I say ‘im sorry,’ and he says, ‘Say WHY you are sorry’, so I said, ‘I'm sorry I snapped at you’. But he told me ‘You don't mean it’ the more I say sorry the more angry he gets and then does not accept it anyway!