To be really cross about this

[Etcetcetetcet]

I went to visit my mum today with my DD4. Tbh I think my mum was having a bad day but I don’t think it’s an excuse.

DD was dancing and singing baby shark round the living room and my mum said ‘shut that fucking child up’. I’m just in shock really. I’ve never heard my mum speak like that before and she wasn’t being loud. Just a typical 4 year old

YANBU

What happened next? I mean how did you react?

YANBU that’s awful! Is it very out of character?

I would have gathered my child and left. She wouldn’t be seeing my child any more unless she apologised and explained. If it’s totally out of character maybe she needs to see her doctor, can you go back and have a chat without your child present?

it sounds as though this was out of character, was it? It’s pretty bad, but if an absolute exception then ok. If part of a pattern then no way. What happened next?

Yes, I would say it’s out of character. She has been a bit snappy recently I have found and has been over reacting but not around DD. I told her not to say things like that and that DD was just singing. we left not long after

Wow! Definitely not biu! Is there a back story to this? I would be really upset if my DM reacted to my child like this

Maybe she was having a bad day & didn’t need it; my Dsis kid is like that & I can honestly do without it when she brings him round after a busy day. The fact you’ve never heard her say anything like that before pretty much indicates that she could have done with peace. Kids are a pita esp when young so why expect her to tolerate that?

TBF to your DM, Baby Shark sends me into a murderous rage as well.

I would be wondering if your DM is under some new stress or is ill. If it is unusual for her to react like that, it might be worth your while going back for a careful conversation around if anything is bothering her etc

If it's out of character, I'd let the dust settle and then try and have a chat about it. Entirely possible there's something going on, but a question from a place of care and concern might allow for the kind of conversation where you can find out if she's ok whilst simultaneously letting her know it wasn't on to talk like that.