Selfish or standard

[Strawberryfieldsforever12345]

If you were unwell enough to go to bed maybe once every four years….how would your husband cope ? Treat you? Asking for a friend 🫣

Last time I was sick. Like throwing up. He kicked his mum out, cleaned the entire bathroom because I don’t like sick. Brought me drinks regularly of water, checked in everytime I was being sick. Dealt with the children’s dinner and bedtime, did the washing up, washing, Then stayed awake all night rubbing my back while I flitted between hot cold and being sick.

Mine is really lovely and will take on everything (with varying degrees of success). He’s not great at food planning or improvising meals so there’s always enquiries about what to do for tea but he will then cook it, sort out the kids and clean up. He’ll also hunt down anything I ask for and provide a constant stream of hot drinks. And he moves into the spare room so I can properly rest.

My DH is lovely....he his very patient and caring ...Me not so much, I have a 24hour window of kindness then I turn into nurse Shite-ing-gale 😂

Well, both DH and I subscribe to the theory that if you're sick enough to need to be in bed all day, that you need to be left alone to rest and recover. We would make sure the sick person had medicine,drinks and snacks available, and would bring up a small portion of the family meal, or a sandwich etc if we were going to be out over mealtime.

Regarding housework, neither of us would expect one person to suddenly be able to do the work of two people, so the expectation on both sides would be that the essentials were done, but anything non essential has to wait until it's two hands on deck again.

We would do it all with good grace and kindness though. Neither of us have the slightest time or sympathy for performative sickness, and we don't fluster and fuss.

Sadly yes.

I don't know your circumstances and know life is complicated but if this level of selfishness is anything to go by you deserve better

When I'm sick by DH treats me as he would like to be treated.

I prefer to be left alone and given time and space to recover in silence, whereas he will call into the bedroom with soup or a warm drink or flat 7Up, check if I'm OK, rub by forehead or hair (drives me mad!) and wait on me hand and foot, an update me on whether I look brighter or paler etc. Drives me bonkers.

When he is sick, I used to let him get on with it but now I tend to indulge him a little because he really likes it, bring him drinks, ask what he needs, fix the pillows, refill hot water bottle, check his temperature, flat 7Up on tap etc. It makes no difference to his recovery, if anything he prolonged it but it keeps him happy.

Thankfully neither of us are sick often so I can cope it with occasionally.