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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

1st birthday party

17 replies

HusbandKeepsSnoring · 17/07/2023 13:26

I have a 9 month old and am thinking ahead to her first birthday.
I kind of want to throw her a bit of a party. Nothing too extravagant - just the local community centre or a function room for a couple of hours and a bit of a buffet/cake thing. My DH thinks this is silly for a one year old and we should just have whoever wants to visit, visit at home.

The reason I'd like to book somewhere is so we can have everyone who wants to come in one place without me stressing about the house being a mess or not fitting everyone in our small house. I have divorced parents and step parents, my DH's parents, we both have two siblings each, four grandparents (great grandparents to DD), a few friends with babies, some close friends and their partners (honourary 'aunt and uncle' types) a step sister with two young children...all these people I know would like to see her on her birthday and I don't think we could ever fit them in our house, nor would I want to!

AIBU for wanting to hire a community centre or maybe a small function room for two/three hours just to get everyone in one place at the same time? Should we do something smaller scale?

OP posts:
Peony654 · 17/07/2023 13:29

Id maybe book a small pub function room but not a hall

widowtwankywashroom · 17/07/2023 13:31

Hiring a hall for a one year old.
Really.
Just have a few butties at home

ForeverFriendsAndPierrot · 17/07/2023 13:33

A hall? What would everyone be actually doing though?

Sounds dull

At home is better for that age

Original poster
HusbandKeepsSnoring · 17/07/2023 15:41

DH probably in the right then...I just want everyone who will want to see her to be able to see her and I get stressed having lots of people in the house. Ahhhhh

OP posts:
gogomoto · 17/07/2023 15:44

An "at home" works well you just say call in between x&y time. If you want specify a cake time

Purpleboat · 17/07/2023 15:47

I don’t think YABU because you acknowledge that it’s because you won’t fit everyone in and don’t want the stress. Far better reasons in my opinion than those who do competitive parties for one year olds. I agree with others though, a hall might be a bit excessive. A smaller function room might be better. Have you looked into local cafes? Ours do private hire and buffets, afternoon teas etc. which might be a better size for what you are after.

Hufflepods · 17/07/2023 15:48

I don't even know why you put this to a poll.
MN hates 1st birthday parties, birthday parties in general, weddings, hens, any sort of celebration or socialisation really so your results will be skewed!
If you want to have a massive party to celebrate your baby then do it.
We did it in the house but we could fit everyone you wanted, but I know plenty of people who rented somewhere for a birthday or Christening.
Do whatever you will find easier.

LunaLoveFood · 17/07/2023 15:49

We did exactly what you've described. Ds had lots of older cousins so we hired a bouncy castle to keep them occupied. It was a lovely afternoon, we got to catch up with loads of family we hadn't seen in ages.

shakeitoffsis · 17/07/2023 15:50

My daughter is 10 months old and I am doing absolutely nothing except a cake at home for them. She has no clue what's going on. I have a 4 year old too and just spent a fortune on bouncy castle, princess, proper cake, buffet etc and this is the first year she's really noticed and appreciated it.

Whataretheodds · 17/07/2023 15:54

I think most of the parents I know who've thrown a 1st birthday party have done so in order that family and friends can gather and it's a bit of celebration of the support they've provided to the new parents as well as, often now, a substitute gathering for a christening because many people don't bother.

If you'd like to get together the people closest to you and your daughter then go for it. She won't care who's there and she won't remember.

Greenfree · 17/07/2023 15:57

I did something for my Dad's first birthday, we got a small function room in a pub which was free and then paid for a buffet, they even put on some music and disco lights even though it was in he afternoon! It worked really well as everyone got to see her and each other

JC89 · 17/07/2023 16:16

First birthday parties can be lovely - they won't remember it but they will still enjoy it! It's probably more for you and the guests really but surely parties are normally about more people than just the birthday boy/girl. Get some balloons, make sure there are some toys for the kids, ask people to take lots of photos and videos and make some memories!

ElectricToothbrush · 17/07/2023 16:18

We invited everyone we wanted to a local cafe for brunch for DD's first birthday followed by a walk to nearby park. It was a long time ago so can't remember if we actually hired out the whole cafe or just booked a large table. Of course your DD won't be aware or remember it, but that's not really the point. It's for you and family and close friends to celebrate her. I think a hall may be too big but completely agree with the sentiment of wanting to do something to get people together to mark the day and I would definitely not want (and couldn't fit) that many people at home. If any of your friends or family think it's OTT they don't have to attend!

Jericha · 17/07/2023 16:42

Hiring a hall for a first birthday isn't something I've done for my eldest or will do for my youngest however a friend hired the local hall for her daughter's first as they have a big family, lots of friends and there's lots of children. It was really lovely, they hired soft play bits and a small bouncy castle and put on a spread. Everyone including the birthday baby seemed to have fun.

FreestyleInTrance · 17/07/2023 16:55

We hired a nearby church hall - our house was much too small to host anything, and at £15 an hour it didn't break the bank! My husband has 3 siblings all with their own families, so just his immediate family is 13 people... 16 if you include us!

What would everyone be doing? The same thing they'd have done at our house, but with much more space, plenty of seating and tables, a car park, and more than one toilet - chatting to family, drinking cups of tea, eating buffet food and cake, having baby cuddles... she's the only one of her (7) cousins not to have had a christening, so we were aiming for the family get together element but without the religious part. We did hire a small soft play suitable for a few one year olds to play on, and set up a lego table and a colouring/crafting table for the cousins who were too old for soft play but not old enough to enjoy cups of tea and chatting.

I think it was money well spent :)

Stade197 · 17/07/2023 17:02

I'm not going to bother with birthday parties until my boy is a bit older and has school friends to invite because then there will be enough children to do activities/play games. I feel like a hall full of mostly adults would be a bit boring

For his first birthday we had my partners family round one day then visited my family the next day because my house isn't big enough to fit everyone in and I'll be doing the same next month for his 2nd birthday

QueenOfWeeds · 17/07/2023 17:06

I don’t see how this is any different to eg gathering in a local park, just without the need for nice weather!

It’s not a massive party, it’s being pragmatic and practical about the restrictions of your own home.

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