Hi, I met my husband eleven years ago. I spent my life alone for almost 15 yrs, not even a date, I had a frugile life, saved, brought a son up on my own without ex s help or maintenance and paid everything off. My husband and his ex wife of 23 yrs had spent and spent and ended up with nothing despite good jobs and no children. She left him just after his mother died. I accepted my husband had nothing from the offset but through love and hard work my husband changed and we live within our means and we don't have debt. However his father was still alive and wanted taking care off, he didn't need anything, he has enough money and good health but he wanted to be taken out for meals daily and holidays. He contributed nothing. He never even paid for a cup of coffee once. Then he wanted us to take his son who doesn't work, his daughter in law, his own girlfriend, his daughter again who doesn't work, and her brood etc. It nearly broke us and we argued as they were nasty horrible people. We decided to move in together to create some distance but my husband can't say no to his dad. His dad then insisted my husband didn't move in with me in case one day he needed an actual carer. I lived a little away from them. He said he wasn't going to pay for one. My husband and I did all his cleaning etc even though he is capable. We bought him a TV, hoover etc if anything broke down. My husband decided to move anyway. Then his father started bullying me and encouraged all his friends and family to do likewise. It nearly broke us as at first my husband couldn't see it. My husband was then offered a new job, he took it, as he then accepted his family were bullying me and were spending all our disposable income and some. But this took almost three years for my husband to accept this was going on. His father objected as my husband would have to move again further away from him. In the end my husband took the job. His father rung us threatening us regularly full of resentment. He lied about us to anyone who would listen and as he was old people believed him. We walked away, we had to or go insane. I felt like I was having a breakdown. His father also attempted to drag us into a criminal activity with his eldest son. This was the straw that broke the camels back and opened my husbands eyes fully. We didn't see them for over 5 yrs. Then his fathers eldest son got caught in criminal activity so his father rung us saying he had alzeimers and needed help because his eldest son wanted his money and he felt at risk. Like fools we rushed over to help. They all bullied us at the visit including the dad. They told us he was moving in with them but we must take him out and provide him with holidays. We walked away again but only after my husband took them all out for a slap up meal. Then a few weeks later, my husbands sister died, her daughter rang us, we took her to the funeral bought her a ring to remember her mother by but she constantly rang us from 7.30 at morning until 2 am for three weeks saying we had to look after her grand dad. She has bi polar. It turned out the eldest son had put her up to it. We blocked her as I couldn't take it anymore. We cut them all off again. A couple of months later, Now his 2nd cousin rings. She lives an hr and a half away. She has a lot of money but refuses to pay for the upkeep of her house. She's keeping it all for her favourite nephew in new Zealand. In the last 4 months after work my husband and I have cut her hedges, fixed her dog fence, fixed her drive gates, painted her ceilings and fixed her floorboards, cleaned the filth, jetwashed and sealed her drives, fixed her patio, paid for meals, took her on outings and now she's arranged for us to pay for a five star 80th birthday meal for her brother and family. She also wants my husband to take her to new Zealand at Christmas to see her beloved nephew and for me to mind her dogs which means driving 3 hrs a day. Not to mention spending Christmas without him and the cost. He says she's lonely and he wants her to be with her family. BTW he's never going to be in the will or his dads so thats not his motive. I love my husband but I cant take any more. He needs to be liked by them so badly. To top it all off the 2nd cousins brothers wife has alzeimers, the 2nd cousin has informed me that if anything happens to her brother we will be taking care of his wife as she isn't going to. The nephew in new Zealand hasn't said how he will contribute to taking care of his mother. My husband says he has no family left and wants me to keep looking after the 2nd cousin and paying. He says before i came along he had a good relationship with them all. Bearing in mind I've never had a birthday meal out, not even a card in eleven years. I resent paying for his second cousins brothers birthday meal and dont want to go. All they do is insult me and berate me. I'm being investigated for autism. The 2nd cousin tells me I'm odd, I speak oddly and I'm interfering if I have an opinion. And I dont dress right and have a high forehead. She's an ex teacher. I'm thoroughly fed up of it all. I work hard. I went through all this drama while dealing with cancer. I scrubbed floors, cleaned carpets and climbed work surfaces while on my last legs some days. I just want a break but my husband won't stop being his familys dogsbody and if I object we argue. I have objected strongly to the meal and offered a gift voucher towards it but not attend but he wants to go for the birthday on his own but we will pay for it. Am I being unreasonable?