DD is now 9 months old and in that time dh has never put her to bed, woken up in the night for her or spent longer than 1/2 hr looking after her - during which he will lie on the floor watching the TV and ignoring her anyway. I've asked him to help because I am getting to the point where I am so tired I feel like I can't cope but I can't relax when he is with her because he can't deal with her when she cries. Yesterday was the last straw, he agreed to look after her because I was unwell (as is she at the mo) but when she started crying he just sat there with her in his lap and let her cry her eyes out while he ignored her, I suggested he walk around with her to try and distract her so he got up, walked to the kitchen and because she didn't stop crying started shouting at me and blaming me. Today, he suddenly said he had a moment of clarity and wants to change and realises he has been making excuses not to spend time with dd and being a selfish pig etc - but this funnily coincided with him mentioning a trip away with the lads, which he is going on and wants me to agree to. I took this opportunity to vent all my frustrations, which he listened to (without getting defensive!) and said he will make more of an effort and stop being selfish. He's been so easily angered, impatient and selfish for so long that I don't know if I believe him. AIBU by thinking he is only saying all of this because of this trip away?