People mocking my name

[Addictedtocinammonrolls]

My father is from another country, and I have a European surname which is 4 syllables long. My first name is 3 syllables. I went to a predominantly white British school where there were only 3 of us in the year group with a non-British name.
I work in education and a couple of times other adults have said to me, 'Really?! So do the kids call you Miss ___?!"
Usually I've just smiled and laughed politely but next time I'm going to say 'What else are they going to call me??"

I was in the staffroom with a couple of teachers I didn't know. A pupil came to the staff door and asked for me by name. One of these other teachers went to another 'Is that her name?!"

I was on the phone to an agency and he asked for me full name. I told him, he repeated it back to me as a question in order to express shock and then laughed. I don't know how I didn't tell him to do knr.

I usually shorten my first name so that it's not as many syllables as a whole. I'm proud of my heritage but sometimes other people make me feel embarrassed. Having lived in other countries where it was common to have a dual heritage, I felt that I blended in more. How would you deal with this?

I can only think it might be because my name has more harsh-sounding consonants and might not flow as 'prettily'. I do get some compliments on it still.
I had a Greek friend who had a 5 syllable surname and got married, so it changed to 'Jackson'. People were commenting that she must have been 'relieved' to change it to something easier. I found that so rude.

I don't think 4 syllables alone could be the issue but if it sounds 'non-English' names attract attention.

My names not English and I get tired of being interrogated a dozen times a day. I don't think people mean deliberate harm and some catch themselves and apologize.

I am literally sick of being asked 'so where you from?' as a first introductory question. Especially when the answer is 'here' and they have already heard my heavy local British accent. Worst are the ones who double down and continue to quiz me next question is 'so where are your parents from'... fyi the answer is also 'here'. Followed by 'so how'd you get that name?'... erm, well how did you get your name?.

My name is Latin purely because my mam like mythology. In a world where names like Freya, Phoebe and Aurora are common place you wouldn't think its still such a big deal (or anything to do with 'race').

I use to be worse in the 90s and 00s though, many people would say to my face things like 'why you not black or something then?' or simply refuse to use my name and call me a random 'English' name instead. PC awareness means this has dropped by about 99% now and is much rarer now but still people obsess.

Yeah that's rude

People are just plain stupid and do not think before speaking.

In your position I would say - -- is just what I say for short. My actual name is ‐‐--a--b---c-- -‐-x--y--z--.

(adding a few other names to yours! )
That should shut them up ! ;)

I completely get it op. My first name is typically English, 7 letters, 4 syllables, Henrietta genre. My maiden name was . My married name is *. Two syllables and Cholmondely genre, said as spellt 4 syllables.

So many uninvited comments, most notably from nurses and teachers who should know better. "Oh what a funny name" "what did your mother call you that for?" Or re my maiden name "oh that's foreign" "where did you get that from?". In answer to the latter there was always a look of utter shock whenever I said "funnily enough, from my father".

Since getting married, I have had years of "what a funny name, is it Irish, where's it from", "that's a mouthful", "can I call you "insert letter" or "*". When I answer their question with "it's northern and can be traced to the 10th Century" or "no, you can't shorten my name", I often get the eyeroll, especially the specially curated NHS one.

If I reversed this and said "oh Pat, or Jane what a boring name, didn't your mother have an imagination" or "interesting surname Barber - are you from a long line of surgeons that can be traced back to the barber surgeons, or were your family just male hairdressers?", it would be regarded as downright rude. If I were to say to a foreign Dr or nurse "ooh Ragathananthan what a funny name, why don't you shorten it? or "ooh Loveness, what a funny name, what was your mum thinking?" I am quite sure I'd be accused of racism. Whether I had been racist or not, I'd still be thought bloody rude and would have been bloody rude.

The comments are unacceptable and harassment triangulated by the fact that if you put the boot on the other foot it would not be welcome.

If they are joking try to view them as kind heartedly learning your name. They are just surprised by a new name and at least they notice it.
Many names are long and ethnically diverse with many syllables so it is bound to be more usual and get better - especially if people like you stand strong and happy with your names.
Evangeline MacRobinson
Catherina Eubergang
Anastasia Papadopoulos
Clementine Mountbatten

I tend to just stare in disbelief at the 'how'd you get that name?' question too... thats when most with some form of common sense apologize.

35 years and I still haven't managed to trained my face to not blatently show the 'are you thick' look.

I’m sorry you’ve gone through this, it’s grossly offensive and not fairly applied.
I’m sure those same people have no problem with reading or or pronouncing Benedict Cumberbatch or Timothee Chalamet. Or some very old English surnames like Featherstonehaugh (pronounced “Fanshaw”), St John (pronounced “Sinjin”), or Marjoribanks (pronounced “Marchbanks”). And I’m sure those same people know how to read and say “Worcestershire”, “Marylebone” or “Beaulieu.”

My point being, if people in this country say they can’t fathom how a name is pronounced or spelled then they are making zero effort and often being actively racist, because they seem to do fine with very difficult English names. Continue fighting your corner and say if you can pronounce Benedict Cumberbatch you can pronounce my name, thank you very much.

Oh they don't @graygoose. They really don't. They comment in that inverted snobbish way that the Brits have mastered so well.

People will always find something to comment on with your name. Mine surname is a common firstname so I always get "Oh you've got three firstnames" or they'll say it the wrong way round. It's also the same as a famous popstar so I'll get asked if I'm related to him. John Smith's will get mocked because it's so common, my daughter gets the piss taken out of her because if you reverse her firstname you get a sex act. (Wish we'd spotted that one earlier!)

None of the comments in your post come across as mocking as such, and I think your own issues with your name are making them seem worse that they are. The person repeating it back was probably just checking they had it right, and the rest are fairly gentle remarks commenting that you have an unusual name.

I get that it's probably annoying, but it's best to just try to let stuff like this roll off you, most people aren't trying to get a rise out of you, and the ones that are will only enjoy that they've made you uncomfortable.

I know someone called "Higglebottom" and often gets the "what a mouthful" response. Her first name is quite long too.

My surname (thanks dh!) is a alternative spelling to a common name. Again people comment "that's unusual", "do you pronounce it like..."
My maiden name was a very common one and people would comment on it being common!

I also know someone with (his words) an unpronounceable Polish name. He just goes by the first 3 letters except in official correspondence. He often gets the response "that's a short name/easy to spell" or similar when he gives it.

I think people do tend to comment about a name whatever it is.

I ended the contract of a supply teacher once who said similar things about the names of our children (hard to pronounce, wow what a long name, I don't know how to say that etc etc). Probably 90% of the children were from the same community/religion

I thought well the children are probably going to have to deal with racism outside school but there's no need to have someone in the school making them feel awkward about their heritage, so that was that

You're doing the right thing gently challenging it, like others I think it's striking the kids don't have an issue with your name, it's supposed adults making a fuss about how different you are 🙄

YANBU. You would think that, in this day and age, people would be used to the idea of non-English surnames. Unfortunately some people are rude.

My surname is just 4 letters. That's all. Just 4. You won't believe the amount of people who mis spell it or add another letter to the end. I mean, it's just. Four. Flipping. Letters. How can so many people get it wrong or add extra letters on the end? It drives me mad.

I feel you on this so much except my name is difficult for English speaking to pronounce, particularly as one of the sounds doesn't exist in English. My first name is 3 syllables and from being at uni I've anglicised the pronunciation when people ask so that it is actually pronounceable in English if that makes sense. My surname was spelt phonetically anyway and easy to pronounce but people still make comments or flounder. That was 4 syllables. So similar to you.

I've always hated the fuss and find people so rude and that their xenophobia shows but they don't seem to even realise...always loved and been proud of my name and heritage though. When I got married me and DH double barrelled so our surname is now 2 syllables - 4 syllables, and same for kids. We get stupid, rude comments so often about it. I do try and pull people up on it in general tbh and get some satisfaction from seeing the ones who are a bit less of an arsehole look embarrassed afterwards.

I am sorry that this is causing you so much upset.

I don't think names are important.

I didn't like my first name or surname so I changed it to one I liked.

Some Greek surnames just sound funny in English. That is just a fact but it is rude to laugh at them.

I am sure some English names sound funny in Greek.

When I was at primary school we had a teacher called Mrs Van Blankensteine. We were told to call her Mrs Van.

My maiden name was complicated and from multiple countries. 3 syllables when pronounced correctly but often mispronounced with 5+. I had and still have zero tolerance for mocking it. There's no puns or rude words in it so it simply isn't funny. I ask people, when they mock it, to explain why it's funny. That seems to work

I have worked with genuine, kind people who just cannot cope with any name that sounds foreign, or is "difficult".
(Equally they maintained they could not understand "foreign" accents on the phone.)
I wonder whether this might gradually die out as younger people just become accustomed to a variety of names, especially in big cities?

Only reason I can think someone might do this is due to surprise if your name has a "funny" word in it. So, if it has Cock, or Cox or Dick in it, that sort of thing.