To feel a bit hurt by my mums comment.

[Heyyouu]

I’m a single parent, been single for 4 years. I’ve dated a few times but no serious relationship

A family member is getting married soon and we got onto the conversation of mother of the bride and my mum said ‘I guess I’ll never be a mother of the bride’ Aibu to feel a bit hurt by this comment

I’d ignore it. Misplaced comment and about her, not you.

You are just being sensitive does not being married bother you?

Ignore it. It’s an unpleasant comment said without your mother engaging her brain before her mouth. Try not to take it to heart and put it down as a stupid comment.

you don’t need to be married to be an amazing daughter and a great mum to your bubba. You’re just great as you are OP, and if you do happen to meet someone nice, you’ll get married when it suits you not just so your mum can wear a hat!

@Maddy70 It doesn’t bother me but I thought she was thinking that I’ll never meet anybody

A stupid comment, old fashioned at best, not a prediction!

Then youre being a bit daft. She didn't mean anything by it. All a mum wants is for her children to be happy. If you're happy then it was just a throw away comment but perhaps she hit a nerve

OP don't take any notice of what Maddy70 says they are on other threads and come across as unpleasant. "Sounds like it hit a nerve" indeed.

Sorry your mum upset you. I think it's one of those rite of passage things that women are conditioned to aspire to: being a bride, being the mother of a bride- all denotes success as a woman being related to the ability to bag a man and have your daughter bag a man in her turn. You don't hear men talking about how they might never be the father of the groom do you?

You're a person in your own right. Forget about that patriarchal nonsense.

Do you and I have the same mother? Mine would say something equally cruel and feign shock if challenged.

I have a sister who is 16 years younger than I am. My “delightful” mother once said “you’ll never get married, no man will ever want you, (sister’s name) will get married before you”. I should point out that my sister was still at school at that time.

Sorry, I’m no help at all, just wanted to let you know that you’re not the only one.

YANBU

She seems like a very considerate person making her child feel safe and confident in her future.

No, probably not.

OIC Maddy70 is one of those "you're just being oversensitive" type of ppl

It's just a throwaway comment. Don't dwell on it.

YANBU and I have no idea why anyone would say otherwise.

It's like a woman whose daughter is having trouble conceiving sighing "Oh dear, I suppose I'll never be a grandmother." Thoughtless at best.

Its silly and thoughtless, best to ignore. I've often noticed when parents tragically lose their children they say things like "i'll never see her walk down the aisle", I've always thought its such a random strange thing to focus on given how many people have children or partners without marriage.

marriage is important to many people, is it important to your mom? why? certainly no harm in having that discussion.
the vision in white the pomp and beauty of the ceremony is a bit of a fairytale that isn't as popular anymore.
and yes maybe it was a dig, maybe your mom is frustrated that you are not following a more traditional path.
and again it might be worth asking why.

Oversensitive. She was being over dramatic.

People are going to say alot of unkind things about your mum on this post. My mum pisses me off all the time but I wouldn't want anyone else slagging her off. But I'm not an overly sensitive person about my life choices.

Another lovely and supportive comment from ol’ Maddy.

I think you're being a bit oversensitive but I can understand how it might've stung a bit.

FWIW, I don't think the comment was about you. It sounds like a misplaced comment about herself.

Hahaha I'm with horrible Maddy on this one. Saying 'Ill probably never be mother of the bride ' is just a statement of fact as she sees it. Myself also, I'll never be mother of the bride. It's no reflection on my son! It's just true. It's neither a good or a bad thing. Unless you really really want to be married (which I don't think you do) it's not even something that should upset you.

Thoughtless at best, stupid at worst. I wouldn't give it any more thought.

I'm sorry you experienced this. My mum used to say similar things to me before she died of cancer and it hurt me. She took a photo of me and my DD once and she looked at the photo and said "you won't like this one" I said why and she pointed to her nose as whether to say my nose didn't look good in it. Ever since then I've been self conscious about my nose.

She’s probably thinking that you’ve decided you don’t want to get married, not that you won’t meet anyone.

That was a really insensitive comment - she clearly engaged her mouth before her brain! I can understand why you’re upset by that.

I think it’s really thoughtless and selfish. Like she’s made your relationship status all about her. We don’t have children to see them married off and play a role at their wedding day.