How much allowance to give student DS over Summer

[Soddingcat]

DS has just finished 1 st year uni
we pay accommodation and he gets loan to live on and he gets £25 per week from us to clean weekly

we continue to pay this while he is away

He hasn’t been able to get a job as he’s away over the summer a few times (funded by us )
this means it’s hard to get a job for a couple of weeks at a time

He has savings of £1200 that he has offered to put towards his accommodation next term

He is extremely frugal and never asks for a penny extra , he’s the least entitled young man ever .
he is clearly a bit down and when I asked he said he can’t do anything as he has no money
he is ND so won’t cope with a Job term time so we are happy to fund this to help him focus on his. Course that he is scraping through ( just )

I’ve said he can have some of his savings , but he said he thought he was giving it all for the accommodation

I’ve sent him over £200 of his savings , and he was all pleased and rang his friend to meet up

I feel sad because DH and I had little growing up and dont want that for ours , but equally don’t want entitled kids which ours really aren’t ,
so how much do you you think would be fair to give him ?

He is unable to realistically get sporadic work due to no fault of his own this summer so please no snarky comments about him needing to work ,
he really wants to

aibu I

o, I see, my mistake, you are contributing a normal amount then. |I would still support over the summer

He sounds a lovely lad but I don't know why he's feeling down - you say he's going away 'a few times' over the summer, funded by you.

So he can't get a job because he's busy holidaying!

As others have said, he could try and get a few hospitality shifts here and there - at least sign up with an agency so he's on their books for when he is available, and for future vacs.

Lostatsea Thankyou 😊 what a lovely kind thing to say !
we try our best . It’s a bit complicated, our other 3 kids are all ND too , two are autistic , DS I’m posting about has always managed better than the others but over the last year of his foundation art course I suspected he has dyslexia, he started his assessment but it wasn’t finished

Ive chivvied him to carry it on at uni and he just hasn’t
I’ve emailed uni but they won’t speak to us and have said he needs to contact them when he returns in September
Ive explained to him that while we are happy to support him and him not getting a job , we do need him to engage with getting help ect in return
He is doing an art course so not much written work thankfully.

We took him away on holiday last week , and after spending time with him away from home I honestly think that he might be autistic too

We've never done beach holidays with our kids , but he said he hated the feel of sand and would not walk on it , DH drove him back to the hotel as he looked so distressed
Also one night in the hotel restaurant, he left before eating , he looked round at all the people and he looked upset and said he wasn’t hungry and went to his room .
We’ve spent so long doing holidays suitable for our autistic kids that he couldn’t cope with the busy hotel set up .

His struggle to communicate with essential stuff is proving to be a problem, as his his terrible organisation, he told me he had sorted next years halls , but it turned out he’d only “ registered interest “ so it had gone , he doesn’t know how to navigate / clarify any arrangement and doesn’t tell us until it’s too late , it’s incredibly stressful .

I’ve spent years helping the autistic siblings navigate everything and all along he’s been struggling too and I feel terrible because I hadn’t noticed, I was pleased he was easier .

When he first started secondary school I remember the first parents evening and I was asked by 2 teachers if he was autistic and I was amazed at the suggestion , but I’m now wondering if they could see all along
I will do all I can to get him assessed and help him next term

That depends if there are any warehouses close to where he's living, doesn't it?

Different towns have different local economies. Not all have an Amazon (or similar) warehouse nearby on decent public transport.

Yes, in some Uni towns, there are limitless opportunities for casual work, especially those in tourist towns, but far more limited in other Uni towns, especially if non tourist, as the hospitality/retail trade is often greatly subdued in Uni holidays without the students around.

2 of mine are ND and for one of them, working at McDonald's through sixth form and uni, helped them no end. Certainly in terms of organisational skills and dealing with the public.
It sort of sounds like you have given up on him being able to cope with work whilst doing his course, but honestly, for ours, it was the making of them. In a couple of years he will be competing for employment with no experience of the workplace.

My ds is autistic, he did temping work via a job agency prior to securing a permanent job. Most of these jobs would be for just 1 or 2 shifts at a time although he often was asked to return to the same place so he got to know the routine. It was just a case of letting the agency know which weeks/days he was available then they would phone him as jobs came up which matched his availability, sometimes he would get a day or two warning but sometimes it would be can you work today, he could say no if he had made other plans. It was mainly either warehouse work or occasionally pot washing. I found it gave him some good experience of what the workplace is like and more confidence going forward. If you are happy to support him thorough the summer that's up to you but it is possible to get this sort of work.

I'd give him around £150 a month as an allowance and also offer odd jobs (if you have any) to help you out at home to earn more. My nephew the same age does a lot of basic gardening for us when he's home and also paid him to come and lend my husband a hand with some DIY. Sounds like he needs low demands over the break.

Whilst jobseeking can he claim JSA - I know if students who signed on in summer though rules may have changed. Also what about DLA?

DD works over the summer and Christmas - makes £1500 a month and she can claim the tax back.

Having worked since she was 14 she has 6 years work experience which really benefits her all round.

Don’t dismiss working -

Dyslexia - don’t dismiss it a lot of Uni students are diagnosed with it at Uni and they can get extra help and assistance and technology free through the disabled services -

Does he get PIP?

I’m not against him getting a weekend job btw when he is at uni.

No pip as he’s not had official diagnosis
Its very hard to get anyway , One of my Dc get it and one was turned down

Marking place as in very similar position op. Neurodiversity and bucket capacity can vary hugely. Also what what work is available in areas and transport will vary.All supermarket work here involves being open/able to do shifts that start at 6. We have no buses that start at that time.

Is he going for assessment? Has your other DC appealed?

Ive filled forms in for private autism assessment but still a six month wait for that

We did not appeal , but we will now the other one has it and understand the forms better now