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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be anxious like this?

3 replies

AnxiousThoughts23 · 15/07/2023 21:59

Sorry I know this isn’t really what AIBU is for but just posting for traffic and perspective!

I am wondering if the level of anxiety I have currently is normal or not. Basically I seem to constantly worry about something happening to my DS (aged 3). When we are at soft play or a playground I have a constant low level dread of him getting hurt (I.e falling over while running around, falling off a high slide, banging his head on something). Another example is if we’re at a farm I worry about getting too close to the animals in case they bite.

If he is being looked after by someone other than me I find it hard to truly relax (unless it’s when he’s at nursery weirdly enough).

It’s not enough to stop me from leaving him or doing fun things with him, but it is enough that it’s impacting on my enjoyment of such activities because it’s constantly there. And more importantly I’m worried that he’s at the age that my anxieties are going to pass on to him and make him scared, I am definitely a helicopter parent though I’d rather not be. It doesn’t help that he’s ridiculously clumsy so is often hurting himself!

I’m just wondering if this is normal, or whether it is something that could be helped with medication or CBT etc.

For context, I’m two months post partum with second DS. At my six week check I mentioned to my GP that I was feeling some anxiety and he was very keen to chuck medication at me but more in a way to just get me out the room and onto his next patient.

In contrast, I so far have no anxiety in relation to newborn DS2!

YABU - this isn’t normal level anxiety, worth speaking again to the doctor / trying medication

YANBU - this sounds like normal toddler parenting anxiety

Any tips on how to let go and not be a helicopter parent welcome!

OP posts:
frootito · 15/07/2023 22:00

I had sickening anxiety after my baby was born. I just toughed it out and it eased after 6 months. I'm pretty sure it was related to haywire hormones.

HungryandIknowit · 15/07/2023 22:02

I have no idea if it's normal but it sounds similar to me. Except I'm more able to relax when they're with my OH. I often get them to do 'risker' activities together. I also do not want to be that person. No advice but I'm hoping someone else will have some.

whoisjoe · 15/07/2023 22:03

Speak to your GP. I think if the intrusive thoughts/anxiety is having an impact on your life and present in an “abnormal” amount, then you would benefit from support - be it medication/talking therapy. I spoke to my GP re anxiety over DD1, the thoughts consumed me and were way over and above the “normal” parent worries. You should be able to enjoy your time with DC, it can get better 💐

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