To be uncomfortable with this?

[Ithinktherefore]

Ds, aged 11, is keen on a girl in his class at school. They’ve been on one date (to the sweet shop in our town) and are now ‘officially’ boyfriend and girlfriend. She’s lovely. He’s lovely. So far, so cute.

Today he went to town with dh, I sensed they were in cahoots about something beforehand but I was busy with laundry etc. They came back with a sparkly, ‘diamond’ necklace for ds’s girlfriend, it’s not particularly childish and cost £20. The shop they bought it from is closing down and has 30% off everything so it looks even pricier.

Why has this made me feel so uncomfortable? I’m cross with dh for encouraging it but encouraging what?

It’s triggered something in me and has left me feeling very confused!!

AIBU or is it ok that he gives his girlfriend a gift like this after one date at such a young age?!?

If my son would have mentioned wanting to buy a gift for this girl my DH would have done exactly the same thing thing.

I can just imagine the conversation now. My husband's point of view would be. "He wanted to. It's only £20"

It's a very adult and very personal gift for an 11 year old to either give or receive. At that age, I'd expect him to want to buy her some sweets or something on that level.
To jump straight from 11 year olds going to the sweet shop together, to buying a proper jewellery gift, it's too much too soon.
I'd have words with your son about him not needing to give the girl "stuff" to win her over, just spending time together is enough.
I'd have words with your DH about what on earth he was thinking going along with that.

I think t's quite cute! My boyfriend age 10/11 gave me some framed, cut flowers. I am 44 and still have them somewhere! She'll keep that necklace :)

DS had a girlfriend in yr5. She wrote him loads of love letters and we've kept them in a tin for him for when he's older! (the relationship was quite one sided! He was a bit anti 'girls' and into football and doing silly stuff with his friends. She was a fair bit more mature!! Think the relationship lasted all of about 4 weeks!!)

I think it’s too much, and just feels a bit off. Fwiw I received a similar gift aged 14 and it made me feel really uncomfortable. Too serious too soon or something, then I felt guilty. Intervene now if you can, suggest alternatives, sweets etc

Well how does the girl top it?

What can she buy him in return?

Because she will want to....

Hmm it’s a funny age isn’t it - on the cusp of discovering relationships. My dd had a ‘boyfriend’ when she was 6-8 and he bought her some v cute valentines presents etc probably around a tenner. But it was completely innocent and just quite sweet. At 11 it’s a bit different and I’d say it’s a bit much - keep it for an occasion maybe.

It feels too much too soon for me as well. I’m not sure the girl’s parents will be thrilled by it. I think your DS needs to learn to take things slowly. Set him up now for what healthy relationships look like.

I’m on team cute. It won’t amount to anything at the end of the day as they are 11. It will be a good memory for her and he will feel ‘grown up’ about giving her a gift.

you’re looking at this from a adult lens and the adult implications of a jewelry gift. To kids at this age this is the same as sweets or a piece of ‘jewelry’ that is made out of plastIc.