Should I take this as a sign of disinterest from friend?

[Addictedtocinammonrolls]

She hasn't messaged me herself in around 5 months, it was usually me reaching out.
I started a thread here a few weeks ago as a few friends met up during the day without me, I was meeting some of those friends that evening but the one in question couldn't make it, however they all ended up meeting earlier that day together but I wasn't invited (even if I met 2 of them that night, I wasn't invited to the group thing)
Following advice on here I thought I'd make an effort, I texted this friend in question inviting her to an event near to her house, which is on most weekends and that we both like. She said she was tired but maybe the weekend after? I said that's fine and asked her to let me know a couple of days before (so not pushing the issue, letting her come to me)
Anyway then, we just had a quick WhatsApp chat about day to day life. I said to her, I'm happy to pop round one day whenever is better for you?
That was 6 days ago and she never replied, so I've decided to leave it.
I'm literally making all the effort, I understand it's hard with a child but I'm always offering to go round to where she lives (it's about 12 miles away) not requiring her to do anything really.
She met up with the friends last time and then I know she meets up one to one with another friend.
Anyway I'm just leaving it now, I guess she's not interested. Sorry if I'm sounding bit OTT, I'm just fed up.
Another friend told me she had 2 weeks' holiday and so would be around a lot and would message me to see when I was free. I started the chat with her, but she told me that info. Anyway her time off arrived and she never did message, unsurprisingly.
I don't think I'm that awful of a person, everyone's got a busy life but it's just clear disinterest.
On social media I constantly see gushy posts between friends 'thank you for being such an amazing human/what would I do without you' and so on, constant gushing. I can't even get a text back or someone to meet up. Sorry for the rant.

Lifes too short to waste on people like this. Just move on and dont look back.

Thank you, I am just wasting my time. I was advised on here that an imbalance is normal in friendships, but why should it be so one sided? They're clearly not bothered.

Bump

Definitely let these people go if they're not showing any interest in meeting up or arranging anything. Whatever their reasons, it's not right that you're doing all the running. Take a step back and leave them to it. If you don't hear from them, they're not real friends. Disappointing, but at least you know where you stand.

I've known these people for over 20 years. I totally get it's tough when you have a baby, but she's posted videos of all her personal training sessions and all sorts so I highly doubt she can't even have me sit in her house for 30 mins or whatever. I saw a video of her baby she posted and he looked totally different, shows how long ago I actually saw them.
I don't really get why the other one told me she'd be getting in touch then never did.
It makes you feel like you're boring or that they think they're better than you or something.

I feel like an absolute fool. I messaged at one point in March and she told me she had a lot on but maybe April. I waited patiently, didn't push anything. April came around and she never initiated anything.
I'm doing my best to accommodate her life and child situation and it's still not good enough. At least I now know.

It's not working, for whatever reason. Step back. I hope you can make space for better friends, who do want your company - I'm sure they are out there.

Thank you. I feel like there aren't many but who knows 😂 when I see these social media posts I honestly don't know how people do it. How they get these friends that love them so much and really would do anything for them. I'm met with so much indifference.

I don't think you should feel like a fool. Sometimes friendships just fizzle, especially as lives change. New friends who are more likeminded will come into your life.

Fingers crossed. I'd love to see inside their minds what they really think of me. I feel hurt but I guess things do fizzle out. Luckily I enjoy my own company.

I understand your situation perfectly as I am in the same boat. I have now decided that if I have done the last phone call, I will not call again until they call me. If I have visited a friend, I will not go again until they visited me or contact me. After my holiday, I went to the kids to visit my best friend who is my ex sil and her mother, brought them presents and she said when we left I ring you during the week, it is now 2 weeks and I haven't hear anything from her. I wont anymore make the effort, they clearly don't want spend time with me unless they need something from me, fed up to be a doormat.

I remember your other post OP and I was very annoyed on your behalf. She is pulling away from you for whatever reason and its horrible. There was another similar thread here about a week ago with similar stories. I was in this situation about 5 years ago and eventually gave up "chasing" my friend which meant complete lack of contact, i hoped she would eventually think of me especially during the pandemic but i heard nothing. I felt like a total fool and she cut off a number of others but they were part of a larger social group, I was actually her close friend. But she stayed in touch with 2 others of the original group, 1 who is a mutual friend. I lost a lot of sleep over it and it really affected my confidence. I became paranoid that others would dump me too, it really messed with my head. Eventually I stopped giving a crap about her but mutual friend often mentions her in passing and i immediately get panicky. Our paths crossed recently and she just chatted all nice like nothing had happened but I was a bit shook after. I really hate that she affected my life like that so I totally get that you are upset. Unfortunately I dont think there is anything you can do.

I'm really sorry to hear you've experienced the same. You are right to not bother again.
It sounds petty but over the last 3/4 years I've been expected to spend an absolute fortune on their hens/weddings/baby showers, stupidly I did despite not earning as much as them because I wanted to make an effort and thought they were close friends.
I wish I hadn't now if I knew I'd be dropped like this.

I'm sorry to hear that :( it sucks how this happens and it does mess with your self esteem.
I know that it's part of life and nobody owes people friendship, but what's the point of going through all the effort of making friends when they'll just drop you as soon as it suits?

I am a bit like this with people. I have a lot of friends with varying degrees of closeness- thoI have known them all since my teens ( I am 40 now).

I feel guilty when some friends reach out, and i do tell them I am busy and maybe later in a few months? And in the meantime I do see other mutual friends frequently.

I feel guilty but I do not think there is anything wrong with this. I am genuinely swamped with life and the people I do manage to make the time for I am just closer with. It is nothing personal towards the friends I rarely see.

What im trying to explain is it's really not about you. It's about them, the bandwidth they have for life etc. I love all my friends dearly, but sometimes I just don't have room in my life for them.

Don't take ANY notice of social media posts. They are just for show and mean nothing. I generally think that happy people don't feel the need to post all the gush. The gushier the post, I tend to wonder what the problem is.

Example in real life, hubby's friend and girlfriend often post gushing things about each other. But friend and girlfriend have split a couple of times and the friend was talking to hubby the other evening about problems and seemed on the point of calling it day, permanently. You wouldn't know this if you just saw the posts.

I have a 'friend' like this. We met when we first moved to the same area and saw each other quite a bit. Then her dd started at private school and she joined a fancy gym and she made a big group of friends and we didn't see each other. To be fair I could've made more effort as well but I moved a bit further away and invited her round. I reached out over Covid and we said we'd meet then her dd had suspected Covid then she did and it just didn't happen. We're still fb friends and the door is open but I'm not going to keep asking.

It takes time to make new friends and it's hard, part of me is thinking what's the point in bothering because it'll keep happening.
You're right that social media is often a front. I just couldn't imagine anyone ever speaking like that about me or even thinking that. Everyone just seems very 'meh" about me.
I'm sorry to hear that, just seems like she thought she was too important once she got in with that new set of people. Her loss.

So tell them you don't have time for them instead of lying and leaving them hanging.

She’s not a friend. It’s really best to just let her go... people who genuinely like you won’t be this much work!

I don’t feel like it’s personal - there are quite a few people I don’t make a lot of effort to see, mainly because I’m tired, and we just don’t fit as effortlessly as some of my other friends. It’s nothing against them as people, and I wouldn’t want to change them at all- it’s just some people aren’t as easy a “fit,” and life can be so exhausting.