FIL messing up naps because of snooker

[Mummyrere]

Hey there!!

so my FIL insists on playing snooker every Saturday and Sunday afternoon. If we don’t see him with our 2 year old he seems to make a little dig like “oh I won’t see you this weekend the ….” And it upsets my partner that he wants him to see him more. So on Saturday mornings my partner has been driving to see him, spends time with him for an hour then comes back. He also says he does this to give me a break - the thing is my 2 year old sleep is terrible, he’s up at about 4 every morning and has a nap about 10 for a couple of hours, if he doesn’t he’s awful. So my partner leaves about half 8/9 to see him (because FIL doesn’t get up early) and then my little boy alwayssss falls asleep in the car for about 10 mins which then messes up the routine for the day, and he’s also in a TERRIBLE mood and I never have a good Saturday, so in reality not giving me a break atall because atleast I would have 2 hours when he’s having a nap. I’ve said about FIL coming round here early to see him but he doesn’t get up early. Just really pisses me off that we’re the ones to mess up our day and any plans because FIL has to play snooker every weekend. AIBU??

Will you ds not nap for long in the car or is dh waking him and bringing him in? Just thinking with those timings that sounds around ds nap time anyway so maybe dh could sit out there while he naps or drive round for longer?

I would turn around and say if you insist on taking him then he's going to be giving him his "me" time Saturday afternoon. It's not fair to mess up child's routine. I would suggest going every other Saturday and he misses out on the snooker

"I would suggest going every other Saturday and he misses out on the snooker"

Why should he miss the snooker? He can visit them if he's really bothered, or they could go make a day of it and do something else once they've visited grandad or the OPs husband could actually do some parenting. A novel idea, I know

If he'll fall asleep in the buggy, perhaps DP could take the buggy, and instead of heading home after the visit, stick DC in the buggy, go for a walk and then to a coffee shop, bringing him home when he wakes. Meanwhile you can get a bit of "me" time.

I wouldn't go out today, as that looks a bit like you are doing it out of spite. Suck it up today, but make plans for next Saturday. Tell DH early next week that you are going into town next Saturday morning while he is out with DS, not sure what time you will be back. Don't mention cranky toddler, or nap times. It's not an issue in his eyes, so no conversation about that required.

You need to go out immediately, OP.

Let DH deal with the consequences of his crappy decision.

If dp kept him awake going to grandads would he sleep in the car on the way back and stay asleep?