I am in my mid 30s now and my stepmum has been with my dad since I was 8 years old. We always had a good relationship and she treat me like a little sister. She always wanted kids but couldnt have them and also always had pretty bad anxiety and low self esteem. She got a gastric surgery, lost lots of weight and started to grow in confidence. I moved to NZ from England 8 years ago and during the pandemic my father very suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. Naturally my step mum was broken and would call me often breaking down and very upset. The intensity and volume of these communications was upsetting me as there wasnt much I could do from the other side of the world in a pandemic and I felt upset that she was disregarding that he was my dad and not just her husband. Five months after his death she began dating one of my dads married friends in secret, causing a huge riff between her and her friends who felt this was inappropriate and too soon for her. She got that defensive over their relationship she cut ties with her friends and just when I believed I was the last person who could support her, she cancelled on coming to my wedding which she already has paid for flights for ect and gave me a bullshit excuse about fixing the kitchen. Im tired of feeling like the parent in this relationship and gave her an earful about disrespecting my father and myself. Now im lost at what to do. AIBU?