To think that blaming someone for CPTSD is wrong? *trigger warning*

[CompletelyUndone]

Trigger warning

A few years back there was a news story that really affected me, and brought back some long buried childhood trauma related to SA.
For a while I was pretty much unable to be intimate with my then boyfriend. This really upset him and he got quite annoyed about it. So I went and got some specialist counselling to try and work through it. Unfortunately the funding for this only covered 6 months and so after I'd dug up a lot of stuff that was really hard to deal with, the sessions stopped.

We got married, and got pregnant really quickly. Our sex life kind of dropped off a cliff after the birth of DC. During this time I got some more counselling. Our relationship continued to deteriorate, until six months ago when he moved onto the sofa, and since then life has been pretty grim.
Tonight he's told me that I shouldn't be telling him that his silence hurts me, because I deprived him of sex for years and that hurt him.
I'm so angry. He doesn't seem to grasp that 1) the lack of sex was due to trauma, and 2) it's not as though I ignored it, I went through the pain of talking about the SA for 6 bloody months.
Yet he feels he has the right to be angry about it. That he has the right to be nasty because I've hurt him.

I already know the answer to this, but really need to hear what you wise mumnetters have to say.

So AIBU to think that most spouses would be supportive?

Had a thought, I know this is mumsnet, but are there any me out there who can shed any light on whether this is a normal way for men to think, or is it just my husband?

I'd say that you should not have married until you were okay. But it takes two to marry and he knew what he was getting into.

I sceptical you temporarily improved, and then went backward (very understandably), however I think you owe it to yourself, your partner and the child you share to get back on the therapy to continue the good work.

Otherwise this could plague you forever. You deserve better than that.

They should read "I understand" not "I skeptical" - blimmin' autocorrect!

It wasn't temporary. Well, from my perspective it really wasn't completely dealt with, but I made a concerted effort to keep him happy in the bedroom, including having sex when I didn't really want it. When I was pregnant he wouldn't come near me, and the sleep deprivation afterwards basically caused so many rows that we didn't have much for about 18 months. Since then things had been better, that is until he decided the sofa was the place to be 7 months ago. He's basically still angry about the situation 6/7 years ago.