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Original poster

Young leader at Brownies

31 replies

zoomiesdrivememad · 14/07/2023 12:03

My Daughter is a young leader ( Girl Guide ) at a Brownie group.

She's been doing this for over a year, always turns up early to help set up, stays late to tidy up. Very rarely misses one.

There were two of them, but the other girl left leaving just my daughter.

At their final leaving party for the summer, the brown owl presented all the other leaders with gifts and thank you cards, did a speech thanking them all for their time and volunteering week in week out but didn't mention my daughter.

My daughter was quite upset and said she didn't expect a gift but felt a bit put out that all the other leaders got them and she didn't even get a thank you, she wondered if it was because they are adults and she is the only young leader.

I'm not sure how to feel about it, but do you think she's being unreasonable feeling a little annoyed or do you think she's well within her right?

I did say volunteering is often a selfless act with not much thanks and she enjoys doing it so that's the main thing.

OP posts:
Popsicle42 · 14/07/2023 12:04

Really poor by the brown owl. Your daughter is right to feel disappointed and undervalued.

Saxendi · 14/07/2023 12:14

It sounds very remiss of the Brown owl really insensitive.
Maybe your daughter would be able to volunteer at a different group

FunkyBrownie · 14/07/2023 12:51

I’m sorry for your daughter - our YL’s are absolutely fab and we couldn’t do half as much as we do without them. (Actually, sometimes they’re the ones getting stuck in running an activity while we do some admin!)

We’re always very careful to make sure they get thank you’s, badges, etc. the same as the adults.

Was this a one off ‘oversight’ by Brown Owl? Or has this happened before?

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 14/07/2023 12:53

That's a bit rubbish.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 14/07/2023 12:54

The Brown Owl is at fault. I'd get in touch and mention your DD being missed out, ask the reason (when all others mentioned) or was it an oversight. Your poor dd. I'd get a little card and gift for her telling her how proud you are and that you're sure it was a little mix up.

redskytwonight · 14/07/2023 12:56

It will be an oversight and I'm sure she is appreciated.

Remember that Brown Owl is a volunteer too and has probably had to fit this round all the other million things she has on.

More to the point - did any of the Brownies' parents thank her? If they didn't, it's even more rubbish of them.

DinnaeFashYersel · 14/07/2023 12:56

Very poor by Brown Owl.

There's no excuse

RichardsGear · 14/07/2023 12:57

redskytwonight · 14/07/2023 12:56

It will be an oversight and I'm sure she is appreciated.

Remember that Brown Owl is a volunteer too and has probably had to fit this round all the other million things she has on.

More to the point - did any of the Brownies' parents thank her? If they didn't, it's even more rubbish of them.

Bollocks. She managed to remember everyone else.

DisquietintheRanks · 14/07/2023 12:58

I think that was really thoughtles of Brown Owl. Tbf though, I wonder how many "thank yous" Brown Owl gets. Maybe your dd should give her a card to say thank you if she's generally nice?

ManateeFair · 14/07/2023 12:58

Yeah, it's poor form that they didn't acknowledge and thank her, and I can see why your daughter feels a bit hurt. Thoughtless behaviour by the adult leaders.

Changingplace · 14/07/2023 12:58

That’s awful! Can she move to volunteer with a different group where she’s more appreciated?

redskytwonight · 14/07/2023 12:58

RichardsGear · 14/07/2023 12:57

Bollocks. She managed to remember everyone else.

Show quote history

Yes, I'm sure she deliberately chose to exclude a child. That's much more likely.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 14/07/2023 13:00

Yes, I'm sure she deliberately chose to exclude a child. That's much more likely.

I suspect she probably did. I suspect she saw the DD as another Brownie/child and not a helper. Casual Ageism at work.

DisquietintheRanks · 14/07/2023 13:01

DinnaeFashYersel · 14/07/2023 12:56

Very poor by Brown Owl.

There's no excuse

Really, you can't think of a single one?

redskytwonight · 14/07/2023 13:02

YetAnotherSpartacus · 14/07/2023 13:00

Yes, I'm sure she deliberately chose to exclude a child. That's much more likely.

I suspect she probably did. I suspect she saw the DD as another Brownie/child and not a helper. Casual Ageism at work.

I assume you're a volunteer yourself? And a perfect one on all occasions?

SemiJ · 14/07/2023 13:03

That's rude! WTH?!

weltenbummler · 14/07/2023 13:04

If Brown Owl had not thanked any of the leaders - fair enough. However Brown Owl thanking all adult volunteers and even giving them presents but missing out the Young Leader is really poor form. Maybe your daughter could volunteer at a different group who appreciate her help more?

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 14/07/2023 13:06

My DD is 15 and is a Young Leader with Rainbows.
She loves it. Stays after School on that day and takes herself along.
She didn't get anything at the end of term but didn't really expect to. Tbh she gets a buzz out of walking round town with little ones saying "that's her!".
I think probably you are better reframing this with dd.

MillicentMargaretAmanda · 14/07/2023 13:09

I'm a Brownie leader. Forgetting a present, possibly excusable in the every day rush of life. Forgetting to say a verbam thank you when you're thanking every one else? Rude and unkind.

FussyPud · 14/07/2023 13:14

Brown Owl fucked up, because verbal thanks are a bare minimum when somebody is giving up their time. As somebody else said, casual ageism.

I wouldn’t mention it to Brown Owl, but I would perhaps encourage your daughter to find another unit where she’s appreciated as a volunteer, not taken for granted because she’s a youngster.

(Have been a young leader, Barn Owl, and volunteered in other places too.)

maddiemookins16mum · 14/07/2023 13:15

Terrible behaviour. My DD did this for ages, she loved it. It also looked great on her application to join the Navy.

orangeleavesinautumn · 14/07/2023 13:17

YetAnotherSpartacus · 14/07/2023 13:00

Yes, I'm sure she deliberately chose to exclude a child. That's much more likely.

I suspect she probably did. I suspect she saw the DD as another Brownie/child and not a helper. Casual Ageism at work.

"casual agism"????

Young leaders who are guides are great to include in the group, but often cause more work than they save, no matter how good they are - they are there for their personal development, and their benefit, not the benefit of the brown owl, who has to plan and monitor everything they do!

People forget this, with teenage volunteers - we get them in school too, and it is a massive extra work load. Not that I begrudge them, but realistically, when I think of "class helpers" the peer mentors don't enter my mind, as they don't help me, they create loads of work - even if they are great, and benefit the students.

It's the same in many other settings where I have accepted young teen volunteers.

That isn't "casual agism"! that is the reality of the situation!

This is probably why the brown owl forgot to mention her - I think it is worth an email to say she felt missed out, I am sure it wasn't deliberate

YetAnotherSpartacus · 14/07/2023 13:19

Young leaders who are guides are great to include in the group, but often cause more work than they save, no matter how good they are - they are there for their personal development, and their benefit, not the benefit of the brown owl, who has to plan and monitor everything they do!

The same could be said of many adults.

I'm sure many adults cause extra work too.

titchy · 14/07/2023 13:25

I agree that's very poor. Could you drop BO an email and ask if your dd is pulling her weight as a leader, or causing extra work and therefore regarded as one of the brownies, as she was disappointed not to be thanked as the other leaders were. I'm sure you can word it better, but frame as a concern that she's not helping or learning to lead the younger ones.

Devastatedyetagain · 14/07/2023 13:25

I have lost my young leader to university this term. Another leader left as well and they both had the same gift. I am so sorry your daughter was overlooked, there is no excuse when Brown Owl remembered everyone else. If your daughter is anything like my young leader then she will be worth her weight in gold and she should be thanked in the same way the adults are. I would give Brown Owl a ring and let her know that she has essentially alienated one of our future leaders.
Please thank your daughter from another madly busy volunteer who really appreciates the work she has done.