My Mum came to stay this week for a few days, and she bought us a couple of herb plants for the garden. She planted them for us in a space in one of the beds. She asked me first whether this space was suitable, and I said yes because we had no plan for that area yet, and we could always move them.
DP was annoyed when he got home because we'd gone ahead and planted plants without 'consulting' him. For context, he recently purchased 20 plants for £70 that I had no idea about, he had asked me if I liked that particular plant and showed me a quick photo, next thing I know he's gone ahead and ordered 20. He apologised for using the word 'consulted' when I called him controlling, but still maintains that it should have been a joint decision and it's not about two tiny plants it's about the 'principal'.
Also while my mum was here, we were cooking one evening and talking about bbq sauces. I got my one out of the fridge and said "this is my one" and showed her. DP who wasn't actually in this convo interjected and said I should call it "our bbq sauce" as he pays half of the shopping. I thought he was joking at the time but he brought it up again the next day and wanted to make a point that saying 'mine' is using language that you'd use if you were single. Again, for context, I have previously had to pull him up on calling our house his and not ours.
AIBU to start seeing these small incidents as red flags?!