To expect DP to volunteer for early morning shift

[BarchesterTowels]

Have been on holiday for the last six days with DP who's four months pregnant. DD is 16 months and clearly a bit unsettled by the change of surroundings, has woken up at 4.30 am every day. Will take a bit of formula and if I'm lucky settle for another half hour, but bottom line is I've been up and in full toddler entertaining mode every morning by 5 am. DP is pregnant and has a bit of a cold but has been staying in bed and blissfully asleep till 7.30 most days. And so far has shown no inclination to offer me a morning off. Almost a week into this so called holiday I'm a walking corpse (also doing all the cooking and driving and most of the washing up). It feels a bit unkind asking a pregnant, not entirely well woman to share the early morning parenting, but on six hours sleep a night I'm shattered and starting to lose my rag that she's still not offered to share the load. AIBU?

I’m not sure. I never get up with the Dc when pregnant if dp is around, but I do get up with them a lot as he isn’t around. I don’t do the night waking when pregnant either. And I have non sleeping babies which I do nearly all the overnight work for so if he had a moan about 6h sleep he’d get the death stare. Can you ask her to do lunch or something and you nap? If it’s a standard pregnancy and she’s not otherwise feeling unwell she can take some of the load during the day.

I'm really surprised at some of these responses. It doesn't sound fair to me at all.

In these circumstances I napped every afternoon to cope.

Most here would say, step up a be a man! But I’m on your side, she needs to give you a sleep in too.

I’m on your side OP.

I fell asleep having a manicure when I was pregnant. Put my head on my arms and left her to it.

I agree with you OP, you should be sharing the pain.

Why are you letting toddler up?! 4 30 is night waking, do not get up with them, don't play/entertain. Keep it dark, quiet and boring and the early waking should reduce to more like 6am.

But i also i agree op, pregnancy isn't a reason to opt out of all the hard bits of parenting for 9months. Make sure she can get to bed early and agree its her turn tomorrow but plan for her needing a nap later.

Well aware of that but it's broad daylight here by 4 am and toddler will simply yell indefinitely if left alone. It would be very different at home where her room is dark.

I’d say 6hrs sleep when you’ve got young kids is a lot! I don’t get much more than that on a regular night and mine are teens now. My days of 8hrs are long gone. That said yes she should share it a bit, but lying in until 7.30 isn’t exactly a big lie in. Why not ask her to do the next day, why is it automatically assumed you’ll do it?

Yep, fair point on OP being a woman, it just read like a man to me.
It just needs to be talked about though, usually the best solution is the simplest solution.