Little bit of a back story. Been married for 8 years, together for over 10 I have a child 14 year old teenager from a previous relationship.
Husband is step parent, he does have a child who is now 18 and has never lived with us although he has stayed at weekends etc.
My 14 year old has had a rocky year last year, had to move schools etc, she had some trouble with some girls in her friend group, ended up isolating her and she ended up were she was really unhappy and didn’t want to go to school so moved her. She has come a long way since, and just had parents evening and she is excelling.
Husband and Daughter have always bickered with each other. My husband is very strict were-as I understand what it’s like to be a teenage girl, it’s hard!
Her room is untidy a lot of the time although I do tell her to tidy it and she reluctantly does. I tell my Husband not to go into her room as to be honest, if he does, it always ends up in a shi&tstorm as he gets so angry at the state of it. His response is, if she’s not in the house and he wants to go in her room, he will do as he pays the bills, this is his house ( I work and pay bills too).
Anyway, it all came to a head last night after work. We went into the house and he shouted her straight away and asked for her phone. Her response was why why why? He said until you have tidied your room. Her response was, I will tidy it but you haven’t asked me but I will do, she refused to hand her phone over to him.
This then resulted in him screaming and shouting at her to give him her phone, I intervened.
Afterwards, he told me when we went downstairs was when he gets her phone he will smash it, because he pays for it, he doesn’t, it comes out of our joint account.
My daughter came downstairs and he was saying, in front of her, that she doesn’t listen to him because he’s not her Dad, that she’s disrespectful, she doesn’t do as she is told and told me he can no longer cope and that’s it.
He then proceeded to say that it was parenting on my behalf and I don’t discipline her and every time he says something to her, I stick up for her. It isn’t just with her, because when his son (my stepson) used to come I also used to stick up for him aswell as I felt he goes overboard all the time with the kids.
He also stated to me “good luck in finding someone else putting up with her”
I’m not saying she’s an angel, she is a moody teenager with hormones but he is making out like she’s the worse child ever.
She does see her biological father but not often and I don’t really receive any maintenance and he gets angry at that too.
He said I’m pathetic for not seeing it and not disciplining her properly.
He said good parenting! I feel like the worlds worst Mum. I feel awful he said everything to her like that, shes only 14.
Apologies for the long post, I just feel I have nowhere to turn.