Is it worth it? LinkedIn request

[MasterOfOne]

I already know I what i want to do is unreasonable..... its helpful to hear what others think.

Years ago I was part of a team where I feel I was treated quite badly by my line manager. The whole situation caused a lot of stress for both of us, with my line manager going off sick, and I asked to move teams via a secondment. I felt I was very poorly supported by her line manager and the senior leadership team

The whole thing was messy and poorly managed all around, but we've all moved on.

The other day I received a connection request on LinkedIn from her old Line manager. I declined it... but part of me wants to ask her "why the hell are you wanting to connect with me now?"

Sensible me is saying "you've ignored the request, leave it be..."

But it's bothering me

I think the voting should be;

Yanbu - leave it be and focus on something more productive in life.

Yabu - message her and tell her exactly how her lack of support left you feeling

Just leave them in purgatory, don't accept or decline.

Oh I really wish I could leave it as is..... sadly just not wired to just leave it....

I'll delete the request... I am not sure she will see anything anyways? Like ignoring a FB request?

This is taking up far more headspace than necessary.

Similar situation I accepted the request just so she could see how well I've done since she enabled her team member to bully me out of the organisation

It still takes up headspace all these years later though, and I've never managed to get my confidence back.

Horrible isn't it?

I genuinely don't think she understands what impact her behaviour had on me and my health at the time.

The request feels almost insulting to me. But appreciate I am particularly sensitive to the issues of this team.

And, if I don't tell her, how will she ever know how her behaviour made me feel?

But will she actually care how she made you feel?

That's a very fair point!

I really don't think so.... so there really is no point in saying anything

Anything you write down can be shared without your knowledge and used in a way you wouldn't want. Given the type of person you're dealing with (unpleasant) and the he said she said nature of your criticism at this point in time. I wouldn't say anything, it's the professional arena and could massively backfire.

Yes another very valid point!

The other day I received a connection request on LinkedIn from her old Line manager. I declined it... but part of me wants to ask her "why the hell are you wanting to connect with me now?"

Figuratively speaking, it's like the criminal returning to the scene of the crime. The manager wants to reconnect with you as it's sort of "unfinished business" and more than likely it's more about them than it is about you.

I had the same recently (on LinkedIn funnily enough). I ignored the request, I have absolutely zero motivation to reconnect and have someone back in my life who was so unpleasant towards me and in the end actually ghosted me. I was equally baffled why they'd try to connect, bonkers!

Sounds like you've done the right thing.

Leave well alone. Do not engage! No good can come of it….

You did the right thing by declining the request. Don't give it any more head space.

You are all right - there is absolutely nothing to be gained by reconnecting or giving this any more headspace!

I just don't get the motivation on her part to reconnect- but like other posters have me noted maybe its "unfinished business", maybe she wants to see how my career has progressed.... or maybe she doesn't recollect the same as me and sees no issue between us?

Nothing to be gained!

Some people just like to collect connections and grow their numbers. She probably is one of those people who connects with anyone she's ever stood in a lift with.

Again a very good point.... my connections for exceed hers.