Taken on too much and completely overwhelmed

[Notsosuperwoman]

Everyone thinks I’m super woman

Got two boys via donor that I raise alone. Work full time. Got a super successful side business that’s going from strength to strength. Tons of friends. In great shape. Always on the go.

I’ve massively overcommitted to some stuff on my side business. I’ve got huge deliverables that I’ve committed to customers. The nature of what I do means I can’t outsource it or hire someone else to do the parts I would do (I hand make a product).

Usually something like this wouldn’t phase me but I had a small life hiccup that completely threw me off, and now I’m behind on everything and completely in over my head.

I feel like I’m dropping the ball absolutely everywhere now. Have a ton of messages from friends unanswered. Falling behind in my day job. Kids aren’t getting enough of my time AND I haven’t even made a start on the deliverables I have to do for my side business.

Withdrawing from these commitments isn’t an option so I am looking more for advice on coping strategies to get through it (and I really just needed to vent somewhere because everyone thinks I’m absolutely winning at life when actually I am completely overwhelmed).

Could you take some annual leave to allow you to catch up and then make sure you don't over commit in the future?

That sounds hard, but possibly only in the short term while you fulfill your orders. Can you outsource anything else for a while? Cleaning/cooking? Get someone to take your boys for a weekend so you can catch up? Take some leave, as pp suggested?

Longer term, maybe think about how much you can cope with and factor the possible life hiccups into that. Also it sounds like you're very invested in the way others view you and in being seen as highly capable. I used to be like that but it's highly overrated and leads to burnout in the long term.

Can you buy annual leave from your employer? If so take as much leave as you can now and buy the time you need later (eg Christmas).

Get as much help around the house as you can - a cleaner to come in daily and sort things out would be great.

Arrange a meet-up with friends in a few weeks' time - say you're too busy at the moment but really want to meet them later.

Switch off your phone while you're working and when you're with the kids, if possible.

Oh and look at COOK for nice oven-ready meals.

You are not super woman op, none of us are. Ask for help.
Pack off the boys to granny’s. Let the customers know there is a delay but you are on it - and rope in paid help to get over this hurdle and then plan for the unexpected long term. Winter and Xmas is worse - you need safety nets and lots of them. I have several plan A,B, C written down and ready for a week when the shit hits the fan.

Know your limits and prioritise yours and the dcs welfare at all times.

I also send out mass texts saying that you are under pressure work wise but thinking of them, looking forward to a glass of wine in August.