TW Dele Alli - trauma, abuse, drug dealing, addiction, I desperately hope he can come back from this

[orangeleavesinautumn]

I have been watching his decline with helplessness and disappointment for the last few years, such a brilliant footballer.

Now we hear all this - Abused at 6, alcoholic mother ( he doesn't blame her) sent to Africa "to learn discipline" - and boy have I heard that before, as a teacher..... drug dealing by 8, adopted at 12, tried to be the best kid he could be for his adopted parents, in case they decided not to keep him,

Became addicted to alcohol and sleeping tablets as a young footballer,

I desperately hope he comes back from this, I salute his courage coming forward. These sort of things happen to so many young people, and if he can come back from all this, he can be such a beacon of hope - if he doesn't, he will sadly just be confirming to other young people in bad situations that their situation is hopeless, and they will never come good.

Please lets just all think positive thoughts, pray, and support him on SM and in any other way we can

Troubled childhood was well known. He won’t come back from this. He had it all but threw it away. Very sad. He clearly was in good shape at Tottenham. Decline was awful to see. However recovery is in his hands. Praying won’t help.

I only have a vague notion who he is. I wish him well, but he lives his own life, not to be an example to others in similar situations. I don’t think he needs that extra pressure.

but for a young person with such a traumatic past, "throwing it all away" isn't a decision it is a preprogramming, that is incredible difficult to overcome

you wont know who he is, unless you follow football, in which case you will certainly know who he is! He played for England many times and very well. I don't mean he should be an example, for extra pressure - I desperately want him to come back from this for himself, and it is a bonus that it will help others if he does.

@orangeleavesinautumn I agree with that.

Difficult to watch

I wish him and anyone else who is in a similar position all the best

I really like Dele. He has the money and is likely to have access to resources that can help him, so hopefully this is the start of his recovery. Wikipedia says he's 27 so not ages left in football, but still a chance if he's able to get the support he needs.

It was a really interesting interview. Dele was the reason my son fell in love with football. I knew he had a sad upbringing but that was shocking.

Glad he is getting help.

I hope he can get back on the right track and be happy.

It is a long interview, but here are the main points ( the information in brackets is my own comments)

Very successful football career with Tottenham and England in his early 20s, then deteriorated massively and ( to fans at the time) incomprehensibly. (One notable event I remember from this time was his decision to stop using his fathers name "Alli" and attempted to become known only as "Dele")

He has just come out of rehab

He became addicted to sleeping tablets during his career as a footballer ( I am shocked to hear how often they are given to footballers before a match)

He has been drinking too heavily for years ( brought up to 11 with heavily drinking mother)

He has not been imposing boundaries and has basically kept an "open house" for any "friends" who wants to come and drink/party at his house whenever ( typical problem for adopted children with attachment disorders)

He was abused as a child, molested at 6, forced to deal in drugs at 8 ( common use of children by county lines) nearly hung by a rival at 10, sent to his father in Africa for "discipline" adopted at 11/12 by kind caring parents who supported his football career and continue to support him today.

Has another year to run on his contract with Everton

Is hoping he can put the past behind him now and become a better footballer.

Does not blame his mother for anything, saying it was the only world she knew - has no contact with his father, but is expecting him to come out of the woodwork now and deny things.

Is hoping his story can give others courage and inspiration

also, it is pleasing to hear how many other Tottenham players he lists as having been good friends and treated him kindly - it is the guys you would hope and expect were decent human beings

I'm really glad he is speaking g out about this. It is the life of far too many people in this country. To hear a similar story from someone who is famous will hopefully help. Anything that raises the profile of the impact of childhood trauma is good. So well done for speaking up and hope he gets the help he needs.

I do think people can be hard wired to self destruct but I also believe you can dig deep and not go down this route, as many have shown. I’m not denying it’s difficult. I think Everton sent him on loan to Turkey.

Poor bugger. Now I'll freely admit that I have called him 'Dirty Dele' on several occasions. Regardless of this, I hope he can find peace in himself. Nobody deserves this. Doesn't matter if you have 6p or 60 million pounds, nobody deserves any of this. I wish him well.

I’m guessing you know nothing about trauma ! It’s not about digging deep , chucking it all away and fuck all to do with Everton sending him on loan to Turkey !!
A brave man to speak about it all and hope he’s getting the help and support he needs !

Good grief! Turkey was just a comment. He’s not been in Liverpool - that’s all I meant. I don’t really care what you think. It’s still possible for some people to lead fulfilled lives after awful beginnings. I think you need some help.

I dont really understand your comment - who needs help and why? and yes, of course it is possible to lead fulfilled lives after awful beginnings, and hoping for that for Dele Alli is what this whole thread is about.

This has been being discussed on BBC news right now, a phone in about late adoptions and the chances of success - Dele Alli was adopted at 12 and is clearly still very close to his adopted parents, who have supported him through everything that has happened.