Time or money in these circumstances?

[creaminCornwall]

I have a 18 month old and in the last few months her father has announced he’s moving abroad with his new partner and no longer working. Suffice to say I have been in an absolute state over this as I have zero maintenance and now also no practical support, he stopped seeing her a few weeks ago so I knew something was up.

My question is, should I request a cut of hours so I am around more for dd? I am able to request this for another 3 weeks and then the request window closes following my maternity leave. I feel under so much pressure. Cutting my hours by one day a week would reduce my income to 50k exactly. I feel so conflicted as obviously everything financial is on me so childcare, house, bills, you name it. But then if I stay full time dd won’t see as much of me and I miss out on her when she’s small. I’ve done the child benefit calculation and I am still better off overall working full time even with the child benefit if I drop to 4 days. What would you do?

What a horrible situation for you; I’m so sorry.

if you drop the hours now can you pick them up again later?

what childcare do you have in place? In my experience there is an adjustment period when you first go back to work as you no longer have work and downtime, you have childcare-work and then job-work. So it is important to find ways to conserve your energy.

in your situation I would drop the hours. I don’t know your finances but £50k is a decent wage. You won’t regret spending time with your daughter.

@Roastingcoffee thank you, I’m still in shock tbh. Feeling completely alone. If I reduce the hours I can’t bring them back up realistically, I would have to move jobs. If I could go back up that would help knowing I had the option but nobody has done that who has dropped hours and it’s not something that’s open to employees..

In your shoes I'd drop the hours OP. As you say, she's only little once. Don't miss it all due to your shit ex.

I definitely had burnout at one point and was in a dark place, total overwhelm and zero patience with my DCs. You want to try to maintain some headspace to avoid that scenario if you can.

Wish you all the best.

If you can afford it I’d go to 4 days; it’s exhausting working full time with a young DC especially when you’re doing it all yourself. If you can’t afford it then you can’t and that’s decision made.
I’ve done both full time and 4 days with my DC and I’d chose the 4 days and tightening my belt every time.

My kids loved nursery and the routine I think it depends how your child is in herself at nursery. Like you say you can always request and be refused reduced hours but if you find yourself struggling it may not be possible to increase again. Try living off your reduced income for 3 months and then decide.

Thanks for the insights! I would manage on less pay as I don’t do much these days sadly! But it’s more the fact I will never get the days back at this company. I also worry for dd being full time in nursery. Gosh it all feels bleak at the moment.