Would you be pissed Off at no acknowledgment of your daughters birthday?

[RosieLeaLovesTea]

Hi all

DD turned 9 on 25/6. I have 2
sisters - her aunts. One could not send a card but arranged a toy voucher sent by email.

Other sister has not acknowledged her birthday at all -no text, no phone call, no card. She went on holiday the day before but it was in Uk so could have text. We work together. So I have contact at work.

I’ll be honest, I’ve never even assumed anyone would care about my children’s birthday apart from me and DH. PIL are lovely and one great uncle and aunt but if they didn’t it wouldn’t cross my mind to care.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s NICE if they do but I wouldn’t care if not.

Not particularly. If someone had made an effort every year and then didn't one year I might briefly wonder but I wouldn't expect it of anyone. I don't think DDs' uncle has ever recognised their birthdays or anything, I've never really thought about it!

That's why you put details of your kids birthday on your social media, facebook or other. To remind people 😂

It wouldn't bother me.

Im utterly shit at birthdays. Very pleased that none of my family begrudge me for this else I’d have no one left around me!!

I remind people! But DS only has two aunts/uncles, so we generally do stuff with them for birthdays (i.e me “reminding” is actually me inviting them over).

Nar my kids birthdays don't even get acknowledged by one set of grandparents 🤷‍♀️
And how do i sleep at night 🤔
All the better for it 😂

No

I would be annoyed too. My DC usually get cards from GPs, aunts and uncles on both sides of the family, as did I when I was younger. I always send my nieces and nephews cards too. Is it unusual this year OP? Have they sent them in previous years?

I wouldn’t really notice, and I definitely wouldn’t expect something. Nice if they did, but no big deal if they didn’t. Mine and DH’s siblings don’t acknowledge our DC’s birthdays.

Hasn’t she probably just forgotten?

No. I would not notice.

I’ve got two siblings.
One always buys cards and gifts, the other one occasionally sends a card, sometimes with a tenner in.
I figure it’s always a bonus if one arrives. Some people just don’t place importance in these things.

If I was invited to a party I’d take a card / present, otherwise nope. My sister and I are reasonably close but live a distance away, we rarely send cards / presents to each other and not really to our respective kids. We have our own live

I have an older sibling who has no kids. They never send cards or presents for any birthdays or indeed Christmas. Despite being a really close family some people are just not present/card/birthday people.

I'm very low contact with 2 of my siblings, partly because of this. They are older than me and had children before me. I remembered their children on birthdays and Christmas and sent cards and gifts up to age 18 (money in a card once they were teens). My DD hasn't had a fucking thing from either of them since she was about 10. And I've been pissed off about it ever since.

I have stewed on it since then, only keeping the peace at the request of my parents (who were also pissed off with them about it). My parents have now died, and when neither of by sibs even acknowledged DD's 18th, I said enough and I want nothing more to do with them.

YANBU. I grew up with really close family and friends and still get birthday cards from aunts and uncles, and the honorary ones who are family friends

My dd11's paternal grandparents send nothing, instead choosing to buy for her cousins. In the last 5 years they've sent two lots of £20 the week after her birthday, to me, via PayPal with no card/message to her. Christmas we hear nothing.

Her grandmother and aunt are on my Facebook. They never comment on anything, never wish her happy birthday. They didn't even comment when she passed the 11+ and got into an awesome school. Literally zero interest or acknowledgement. I'm close to removing them both.

My mum died five years ago, my dad died last month but had Alzheimers and his wife didn't want the children seeing him, so DD has pretty much been grandparent less since she was six. My mum adored her, as did my dad. It really pisses me off that they're gone and the ones who are still here couldn't give a shit. I feel awful for her.

BIL forgot/ ignored DD's birthday one year, even though he had popped round a couple of days beforehand while I was making by her birthday cake and had a conversation with me about it. Rightly or wrongly, I was cross. If we ever forgot his DD's birthday we would never hear the end of it!

Birthdays are a thing and especially for children and especially for family. I’m sure they’d make a big deal of their own children’s birthdays with cake and balloons and the whole shebang plastered all over social media etc.

If you’re ‘shit’ at birthdays or ‘not bothered’ then do better. Small things mean a lot and even if it was getting a card from the local paper shop and putting a tenner or a chocolate bar in card it isn’t exactly brain surgery.

Yanbu op. I would be really hurt. I think all these bullshit excuses are because people can’t actually be arsed. It is pure selfishness and laziness.

I really don't get how anyone can say they wouldn't be annoyed!?

YANBU OP I'd be really pissed off

exactly-people make a fuss of their own children’s birthdays. That’s how it should be. But weird to expect that from aunts and uncles. My DC’s aunts and uncles wouldn’t know when my DC’s birthdays are. I don’t know when my siblings’ children’s birthdays are. Same with DH and his nieces and nephews.

Are your sisters close to DD? As in, do they have any kind of relationship outside if the one you have as adults?

I have seven aunts and I only ever got gifts from one of them. I just wasn't close to the others and I'd have been genuinely surprised if any of them got me a present.

I have always recognised nieces and nephews birthdays and our siblings have recognised DS's birthdays. Beyond that circle of immediate family, I don't necessarily know when my cousin's or their kids birthdays are.

I would have been disappointed for DS if he had been forgotten by one of his aunt's or uncles - but he is adopted and has issues with abandonment in the mix, so maybe I was more bothered because of that.

YANBU. My sibling rarely sends my DD a birthday card. I used to find this upsetting as I have always been a generous older sister when they were growing up. I think it comes down to lack of thought on their part and the realisation that they are not particularly interested in my family.