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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do I get through to him? He just won't listen!

4 replies

Peekaboooooo · 12/07/2023 18:32

My dh has been through all sorts of 'phases'. He always thinks the latest phase will fix his problems. He's got anxiety problems, sleep problems, psoriasis and IBS and has had these things for about 15 years. He's had a lot of counselling and therapy over the years. He's tried antidepressants a couple of times but for no length of time because he claims they don't work so takes himself off them.

He now thinks that his psoriasis and anxiety is all down to diet. Despite the fact he's told me for years that is stems from complex ptsd and childhood issues with his parents. He's now fixated on the carnivore diet. This literally has been an overnight decision based on a couple of YouTube videos! He's a very slim 35 year old but he eats too much meat anyway. So today he had bacon and eggs for breakfast, a pack of cooked chicken for lunch and minced beef for dinner. He says he'll eat some fruit in between. No dairy, no grains, no veg. Does this not sound extreme? We've been here before with diet phases and they've never made things better. I've even offered to pay for him to go privately to see a dermatologist for his skin or to get proper allergy tests done and he just says he wants to try sorting it out his way. He says he's been to doctors in the past who were no help (he means GPs).

I'm so frustrated with dh because he just won't listen and is being really stubborn. My biggest concern is that he'll make himself ill or his mood will be severely effected.

Aibu to find this all so frustrating?

OP posts:
Peekaboooooo · 12/07/2023 18:41

I'm getting quite stressed myself by this

OP posts:
Stillcountingbeans · 12/07/2023 20:02

I think the only thing you can do is disengage. He is an adult and you are not responsible for his health.

If he is behaving badly towards you, e.g. taking his temper or moods out on you, then you need to have very firm words and not put up with it.

If the diet is costing a lot more, insist that he pays for it, either by doing his own shopping for meat, or giving you extra if you do the shopping.

GoldDuster · 12/07/2023 20:06

Detatch. Accept that this is very much a him problem and there is nothing that you can say or do to change his mindset, and get busy and occupy yourself in other ways so his latest phase isn't your focus.

Wildspace · 12/07/2023 20:19

Let him crack on with it. There’s a lot he can’t control but it doesn’t sound like this diet is the end of the world and at least it is something he can control. Would be good if he added a bit more veg to it though - even if it’s salad.

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