To do the course if I don’t know for sure if I want to go to uni

[EstherBells]

Ok so I’ll try my best to keep this short but for reasons of full transparency I feel I should mention that I have diagnosed adhd and I tend to waffle quite a bit. So I turn 40 in September and I’m trying to decide if I should apply for an access to health course at my local college. The reasons for considering this are as follows, I’m no spring chicken and I feel this is the last chance saloon but my main reason is to see if I can actually manage the course as if I can’t manage a level 3 course there is no way I’d be able to manage a degree. So in a way it’s a little experiment to see how I get on. I know that probably sounds ridiculous at my age and some of you might think I should have had my life sorted years ago but sadly it hasn’t worked out like that.

I am so incredibly lucky that I have an amazing dh and 2 amazing children but I have always felt like a failure for not achieving anything in my life. I struggled throughout school and college and I still struggle day to day when it comes to things relating to myself (I’m on the ball 100% when it comes to my kids) and I have so much self doubt and low self esteem. In a way I’ve got fed up of myself and feeling so low and bad about myself that I feel like I need to do something to change the direction of my life.

Day to day my dh works full time and I work part time which I’ve done for years as our youngest child is autistic and he has needed one of us around consistently over the years and I wanted that to be me. We have sacrificed a lot to do this and we have had to claim things like tax credits and dla to enable me to be at home most of the time but this has made me feel absolute garbage as I feel like I should’ve been able to provide more for my family.

So years down the line my eldest child is almost an adult and my youngest isn’t quite as demanding so for the he first time since I had my first dc at 22 years young I’m trying to think about myself more. But then of course my low self esteem, self doubt and rumination kick in and I think stop being ridiculous I’m almost 40 and i want to go back to college and potentially university, i‘n ancient lol. I just don’t know what to do. Plus when I’ve gone to apply on the website there is a space on the form titled personal statement. Now I know this is expected when applying to university but I wasn’t expecting have to do this for a college course and so of course this has thrown me and I can’t seem to find the words. Then the self doubt kicks in again and I ask myself why am I even bothering as I’ll fail. So I guess what I’m asking is should I do it? As if I do at least I’ll know for sure if it’s right for me or not.

I think you sound like exactly the sort of person who will benefit from an access course, and some of what you put in your personal statement will be the things you've mentioned in your post: you've been out of education/work in a caring role, and you want to do this course because you think it will give you the skills and confidence you need to go on to further study and to develop a career (say what your ultimate goal might be). You'd like to potentially go to university, but you feel this course will help you decide if it is the right choice for you. In the rest of the statement you can talk about aspects of the course that particularly appeal to you and why.

Thank you. You have basically just summed up what I would like to say.

There are lots of people on this board who are doing or have done similar :

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mature_students

I'd tap into them for the personal statement (and general encouragement/ tips).

What @ZacharinaQuack said. Spot on. Good luck!

What's already been said. I'm in my 30s, lone parent to a child with additional needs. I did an access course and I am in uni myself. I definitely think it is worth doing the Access course and then seeing how you feel. Won't know until you try!

Hello, I am 33 and have ADHD, I was like you but I managed to do access to health in college, I didn’t build the courage to apply for uni so I did L4 with the college and uni combined course. (I won’t lie I struggled), mainly due to no support in place. I started adult nursing in September 2022, it was really hard, I struggled with no help and most days felt like I didn’t want to go to uni, although I loved placement. I got diagnosed with adhd in January 2023, I then decided to apply for DSA so I could get the support in place for uni, this was accepted then I decided it would be best to take an interruption and join the January co-hort meaning I would have 6 weeks out giving the DSA support time to be arranged. Honestly the DSA is amazing I got loads of equipment, an ADHD mentor/coach and a study skills support worker! Only regret I have is taking that interruption as I would be finished year 1 now. Defo go for it, you need any help just message me and good luck!

For another perspective, I’m early 40s and finishing off a Master’s degree and about to start a PhD. I find it bizarre you think you’re too old when you may have another 40-50 years of life left. You’re willing to spend that time stagnating?

Do the course.