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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Another DP and drinking thread

1 reply

abc12378 · 12/07/2023 14:00

Myself and my partner have been together 4 years. He has always liked a drink - as have I - but it's getting to the point where I'm trying to drink less whereas he doesn't see a problem at all with his drinking and it's starting to really grind on me.

For a bit of context he's mid-40s and I'm 36. We don't have children together, he has two older children from a previous relationship so no having to look after young kids. He works hard, does a lot around the house, isn't miserable or a bad drunk, exercises 5 times per week etc so his drinking doesn't get in the way of things. He also doesn't drink bottles a night like I do see on here sometimes, but IMO it's still too much and the only thing I'm worried about is his health, especially as he is older than me (not worried about cheating or anything like that).

He drinks min 4 times per week, more usually 5. This week he was out all day at a friend's BBQ on Friday so drinking 1.30pm-8pm (he left early to be fair as the BBQ was a long way away and he could share a taxi back at that time), we drank a fair bit together on Saturday, two glasses on wine on Sunday, now he's away for work so has had half a bottle on Monday and Tuesday at dinner (I just asked what he had for dinner and he said xxx and shared a bottle of wine with xxx, I wasn't outright asking).

Normally he wouldn't drink on a Monday or Tuesday unless he has plans, but I imagine he will have another half bottle tonight, no booze Weds/Thurs and then we are away for this birthday this weekend so that will be drinking Fri/Sat and probably a couple of glasses on Sunday.

I'm not exactly tee total - drink about 20 units a week so still over limits - but I always try to have three days off and try to be quite concious of how much I am drinking whereas he will just have a drink whatever the excuse.

Not really an AIBU but just want a rant!

OP posts:
abc12378 · 12/07/2023 14:06

I guess I just want to see whether I am being unreasonable. His trip got extended one more night so I just got angry saying about how he's just going to go out drinking again tonight. If he had been home tonight he would have had a couple nights off before his birthday. He's said he won't drink tonight though.

I'm honestly just worried about his health. He's not depressed or moody or anything like that, and can easily stop drinking once he has started, or just have a glass or two - he just really enjoys a drink! His whole family are the same but his mum has had cancer (he blames the booze), his dad is in ok health but huge beer belly.

OP posts:
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