Feeling guilty for finishing it ... was I BU

[pegzz]

Only seeing eachother a couple of months but he seems enmeshed with his family ie sisters, mother
He's renting from them as he is divorced.
One of them charges him a third of current rental average.
They've now told him they're renting out a few other rooms and went in and starting to renovate it .
He's only recently finished a relationship and hes a afraid of telling them he was seeing me.
All sounds codependent to me and i am a secret so I finished it .
He is lovely but has so much going on. He enables this control and is afraid of them.
I feel bad though even though I think it's 100% right decision .

Honestly? You are allowed to break up with someone for any reason you want - it doesn’t need to be a “valid” reason. You went out with him for a couple of months, it wasn’t serious and it didn’t work out.

It was a happy relationship with a genuinely lovely man and while I know I am well within my rights to finish a relationship for any reason, it seemed kind of cruel.
He was not strong enough to go up against his family and I suppose that's the bottom line

I thought this thread was going to be about a tub of ice cream

I wouldn't be at all happy to be a secret. I'm not 12 and neither have I got anything to hide. I'd end it. He's not emotionally mature.

Much better to end it now, you did the right thing, not cruel at all.

Yes. I guess I've never been with a man whose family basically control such serious aspects of his life . I do feel for him because I understand enmeshment but to enable a family member to move I in tenants and do renovations and not to take his thoughts into account.
The other side of it is that he could move out and pay full whack but his standard of living would be hugely impacted negatively .
To be a secret is fine until the dust settles with the break up but at 50+ years is f age, it's ludicrous in my world .

He would always be putting your needs last - you have dodged a bullet OP eventually you would hate him for being so spineless

I think you're right.
I certainly can't respect that long term . It reeks of immaturity and weakness for a grown man

I guess they need to move tenants in because he’s not paying the going rate & they need to make that up?

You can break up with someone for whatever reason you like, and I don’t blame you in this situation at all.

They do not need the money and he is not allowed to have a woman in the house either. It's like something from the dark ages

This is all about control and keeping him in his place and having their house maintained well

I remember living in a girls' hostel where no boys were allowed, but I was 20 at the time! 50 years ago! That rule is out of the ark!

So he has the option of moving out and paying a standard rent?

How do you know if they need the money or not? Based on what he’s told you? I’d be taking all of this with a pinch of salt tbh!