To still want to know when my child has covid?

[Mumof3girlygirls]

My 6 year old has only in the last couple of months gotten over a tonne of long covid symptoms some of which scared the life out of me for months multiple dr/hospital visits ... she had covid 3 times previous.... I always fear it could happen again and theres lasting damage. This weekend she was struck with illness and fever was so high I couldn't leave her alone overnight. Did the test and instant thick line. Symptoms today are mild but School told us to not send her in while she's positive which I understand totally completely to try to stop it from spreading any further.... now to the am I being unreasonable.... for testing her still and wanting to know if she has it and can possibly be at risk of the long lasting symptoms again?? My husband has gone off his head as its always "just a cold" and he's clearly forgotten all that's happened to her in the last year calling me mental for even wanting to know if she has it, not caring that she would be spreading it to all her friends "because other parents don't bother keeping their children home when sick"

Why are you testing though? Personally now I base my judgement on how ill my children are as opposed to a line on a test.

If she hadn't just recovered from a year of long covid with awful and scary symptoms I don't think I would bother testing but I feel the need to know that if (i pray it wont happen) she gets the long covid symptoms again I can attribute it to actually knowing when she had the virus.

I guess it’s up to you, I don’t personally know anyone that still tests children so you will be in the minority.

You will make her ill with all the fuss! Just stop testing, and let the poor child enjoy a normal life.

I get why you want to know, but I do think you need to be very mindful the influence the anxiety around having covid might have on her in the future.

I say this because I have a very debilitating sickness phobia. It's controlled my life. My mum has the same. Although of course I would never resent her for it as it's not her fault, but I know my anxiety started by noticing hers.

YANBU and I'm not sure people have read the detail of your post. Wanting to know makes perfect sense in your daughter's situation.

You don't need to make your daughter anxious about it either. You can be quite casual and matter of fact about testing but still do it because it could be v useful at some point to know how many times she had it and when.

I think it's perfectly normal if your DC has had longterm effects from an illness to want to know if/when they have that illness again. I would want to know too. I think it's sensible not overly anxious.

To put it into perspective what are the 'tonne of long covid symptoms' exactly. Which of these 'scared the life out of you?

To the best of your knowledge is your DD back to full health from the initial long Covid symptoms?

In other countries they test for flu which is obviously a bit of an alien concept in the UK but does mean they also prescribe drugs which seem to really help lower the number of days someone is affected. If they were dishing out similar for Covid it would make sense to know but as it stands now I would probably just note down dates and symptoms as I'm not convinced tests which are now quite old and formulated for earlier covid strains will be terribly reliable.

I do agree with this. Health anxiety is directly inherited. I got mine - which can be debilitating and has had me in therapy multiple times, and wasted countless nhs resources - from my mum. That's only been obvious to me since I've seen how she behaves around my children and realised that's how she must have been around me as a child too.

I think your making issues for yourself
please don’t project them onto DD you’ll end up with 1 screwed up child

YABU and really need to stop testing, and watching like a hawk for symptoms.

I know it’s horrible when your child is ill, but part of being a parent is to try really hard not to inculcate unnecessary anxiety in one’s children.

Throw away the tests and relax.

I'm not very familiar with long covid but if she has symptoms what help is it to know when she had covid? Is the treatment determined by that date? Is there some preventative action you would take if you knew?

Why does your husband have such a different view? Was he not aware that she's been ill?

Where are you getting the tests fro or are they old? I ask as they don't have a long shelf life and become more unreliable with age

I’m a GP and I think it makes total sense to be testing in this scenario. TBH I personally think everyone should still be testing really (I know that’s not going to happen! And am not suggesting everyone isolate either just test). It’s extremely helpful and relevant information in lots of medical scenarios to know if the “cold” or “flu” or “chest infection” you had 2 weeks ago was likely to be COVID. Without wanting to be seen as doom-mongering, the truth is that we still don’t totally know what the long term effects might be either and it may be very useful in eg 20 years to be able know if you’ve definitely had it, how many times and when (regarding the likely strain at the time) etc.

However I will say that it’s a weird response from the school about keeping your child off if generally well with it, as this is no longer the guidance for schools and your husband is right in that sense, other people aren’t keeping their kids off with COVID now. Things have moved on. It’s now going to be with us forever and there’s no avoiding it in the long term, plus it is milder now, so it’s really not worth all the drastic measures taken earlier in the pandemic pre vaccines and when we didn’t know as much about COVID etc.

At this stage in the pandemic I would say that children’s education absolutely trumps trying to avoid the spread of COVID and the government already made this decision too hence the guidance. I would challenge the school on this one, but it’s quite possible that they know exactly how anxious you and she might be about the possibility of spreading it given her long COVID issues, and that’s why they’ve said this to you specifically, especially if you said something like “I shouldn’t send her in right? I’d hate for her to be worrying about spreading it”. If you tell the school you’re happy for her to come in I think they’ll agree! Honestly we really are in a totally different phase of the pandemic now where different rules apply.

My childs had colds, no bother. My child had covid and was bed bound for about a week and really ill with chest pain that he's been to hospital / A&E with multiple times being hooked up to heart monitors. I get it completely. If you or your child didn't get that ill from covid then lucky you. Don't want mine getting it again.