NSPCC: Children under 12 shouldn't be home alone

[roses2]

https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/23646867.age-child-can-stay-home-alone-uk-nspcc-advises/

Seems a bit old to me. I started leaving DS home for 1-2 hours age 9. He's now 10 and has walked to school by himself, gone to the local Sainsbury and the park. All within a 10 minute walk. He'll be 11 when he starts secondary school and I fully expect him to get the tube to school by himself (I'll train him of course).

12 seems a bit old to me. I know every child is different but surely this advice just makes parents with capable children feel like they are bad parents?

When I was a child my mum used to stick to these kind of ages with us. 12/13 to be in on our own and 16 to look after younger siblings. I'm a child of semi negligant 1980s parenting. So I don't think it's a new thing. Although there were less working mums where and when I grew up. So less people had to worry about covering school holidays etc.

The advice in that article also says children age 6-12 are usually too young to walk to and from school alone.

That's mad - almost every child in my home village is walking to the station, getting on a train, and walking across the nearest town to school for secondary.

I was a single mother during lockdown - I had the choice of leave a 7 and 10 year old alone in the house, or alone in the car while I did our shopping as the supermarkets wouldn't let them in with me. I chose home, because at least there they had stuff to do and could contact me and wouldn't be exposed to strangers. So yes, these days I have no trouble still leaving them home alone while I run the other to school or pop to the shops for a couple of hours during the day, and I'd leave the eldest for half a day occasionally, he'd probably be fine all day, but he'd get lonely :)

Is this a serious post?

Even my 4 year old is more mature than this.

Either your child has additional needs or they are in serious need of better boundaries/discipline

Don’t worry, I grew up with four brothers and they were a little crazy but somehow ended up ok. There was setting fire to lawn furniture (inside the house), climbing out of upper story windows to explore steeply pitched very high up angled roofs, bribing the younger kids to not tell on one of the brothers taking out the car when he was 13, while our parents were working. Plenty more like fights, drugs, and jail. Strangely, the worst offender did a 180 in his mid 20s and became the straightest arrow I know and he never looked back.

So you just have a mild little whipper snapper, op 😂

Yes, the NSPCC are just not fit to be giving advice on keeping DC safe. They're a joke.

I think she has a Dennis the Menace on her hands 😄

I think it's a good idea to have a guideline. It means that if children are being neglected or left alone in unsafe circumstances, the authorities have a tool to use to protect them. It's a bit like the rule that existed in the hall where I lived as a student. No male visitors after 11.00. We all knew that nothing would happen to us if we wanted a visitor to stay but the rule was there if we wanted a visitor to leave. Not sure if that makes sense- but I know what I mean!

How would NSPCC guidelines be a tool for authorities to use in that situation?

I think that's probably right.

I'd leave my 14 year old all day.

My y6 will be 12 in October. At present I'll leave him an hour or two and he walks home one day a week and is at home alone for an hour. (We speak on the phone). But if he has an inset day I arrange for him to go to my parents as it seems too long.

I guess it will change as he gets towards the end of y7

No but it stops the excuse that no-one around them told them that it's wrong, which then means that if something happens, the law around neglect can be used. Or if the police got involved, the guidance is there. It's that saying that was often used during Covid "the rules are for the obeyance of fools, and the guidance of wise men”.

CurfewKate

Well no because the guidance says that from age 6-12, children should not be walking to and from school alone.... therefore your 11 year old should not be doing that. I mean it's absolute nonsense but that's what they're saying.

It will be given as advice by children's centers and family support. If primary aged children are being left alone without good reason and the parents have been given this advice it can go on a CP/CIN plan for it to not happen. These aren't struggling working single parents that it will be used against. It's about primary children being protected.

I certainly wouldn't leave young kids and I concluded young teens in this home alone for hours during the holidays as that's neglectful.

I would certainly leave my particular dc at home for up to 1.5 hours if needed and have done so since they were 9.

I would certainly keep an extremely close eye on any internet and device activity whether they're home alone or not.

Teach them life skills, don't Molly coddle and apply common sense.

I'd absolutely hate to leave young dc by themselves for hours on end. Small chunks of time yes.

Equally 9+ year olds can walk to school and back provided it's not a complex route.

It's no use raising hapless offspring that can't handle basic things in life.

And grouping children together like that...6-12 year olds is just such nonsense. A six year old could be in year one at school and a 12 year old could be in year 8. Are they really saying that a year 8 child shouldn't be making their own way to school?

Oh FGS
I certainly wouldn't leave young kids and including young teens at home alone for hours during the holidays as that's neglectful.

Sounds like you have it just right, OP.

Once they hit secondary school age surely getting to school on their own and staying home alone is pretty normal? Who's going to pay for child care for a secondary school age child? It might not be ideal them being home alone all day every day of the holidays though I guess but with the COL most people probably don't have much choice.

It says under 12s shouldn’t be home alone for an extended period of time and that it should be assessed on a child by child basis. I read that as they think you can leave a 12 year old home for the day but probably not younger but that you could leave a younger one for a short period of time, presumably to build up to it being for a whole day. I don’t think you can go from never leaving them alone to leaving them for a whole day in one go.

Would be nice if the NSPCC started advocating for government-funded, well-run childcare.

I think this is also about leaving children responsible for other children. Yes an hour might be fine for a 10 year old but you do get some hopeless parents who then leave the 3 year old in the care of the 10 year old…and then the hour becomes a day and so on.

I remember a friend at school who had to stay off school if her younger siblings were unwell and look after them. She was about 11 and missed loads of school because of it.

I'm just not seeing how the NSPCC guidance is going to do anything in that situation that couldn't also happen without it. There obviously can be CIN without it after all. I agree it's unlikely to come up in instances where there isn't serious neglect, given the resource constraints SS operate under.

I think 12 is a bit young to be left for a whole day during the summer holidays. I wouldn't leave a child under 14 for a whole day and even at 14 I'd rather not. Leaving for an hour or so, 12 seems reasonable. People are always asking what age is appropriate for this so they have issued guidelines suggesting no younger than 12. Fair enough.

When its saying extended periods and talking about the summer holidays I'd expect they mean they shouldn't be left all day every day during the summer holidays. That's not the ideal situation for under 12s so makes sense but if there's no childcare available what can parents do?

I think it depends on the time period. I have 4 kids and they were all ok to be left alone for an hour or two occasionally while I went to the supermarket, say, by 9/10, but they all would have been upset/lonely if left all day while I was at work or in the evenings. I think 12+ is definitely about right for longer periods, or regularly.

By 14/15 they would barely notice ....