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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

PE teacher forcing my son to do PE with a head injury

81 replies

rooby252 · 11/07/2023 19:47

My 10 year old son sustained a quite bad head injury over the weekend and had to go to A&E to get it glued. We were told he couldn't do sports for 7-10 days and to keep the wound dry.
I took him into school yesterday and spoke to a deputy head and the office, passing on the information that A&E had given us.
When I picked him up at the end of the day, he said the PE teacher had made him do PE. He told the PE teacher repeatedly that he wasn't allowed to but was told to do it.
Apparently, the PE teacher saw him kicking a ball around at play time and just thought my son was 'trying it on' to get out of PE.
My son is sports mad and generally loves all sports, so he is not known to try and get out of any type of sports!
My son's class teacher told my son to tell the PE teacher that he wasn't allowed to do (which he did) rather than passing the message on directly.
AIBU to be really cross with the PE teacher for not believing my son, despite him having a huge lump on his face, glue and steri strips?

OP posts:
Gerrataere · 11/07/2023 20:09

Clymene · 11/07/2023 20:06

I'm not sure how my son is at fault? At 10, he probably doesn't fully realise the consequences of having another head injury/ concussion. When I asked him why he had been kicking a ball, he said he hadn't been running around so wasn't getting the wound sweaty/wet. I explained to him in more detail why he mustn't do any sport and that is why he stayed inside today.

Okay, that's your fault then. You should have explained to him - especially as he's sport mad - that NO SPORT means NO SPORT.

Regardless of how hard the op should have pushed this message to her son, it still did not give the pe teacher a right to then decide that a child with a head injury should do pe. It’s very much a power play and doesn’t help the idea that pe teachers are still some overgrown Jocks who would have a kid on crutches do a 10 mile run just for managing to hobble to the toilet…

MisschiefMaker · 11/07/2023 20:10

Children can have a kick around by virtually remaining stationary. If they're all in a circle and just kicking the ball back and forth. That may not have been risky for the kid, if that's all he was doing. That doesn't really qualify as sport either.

Very different to actually running around and risking falling over etc.

Bit harsh to blame the kid in this situation.

Clarinet1 · 11/07/2023 20:10

On balance I think that the fact that DS was foolish enough to be playing ball at break dies not make it right for the teacher to force him to put himself at further risk.

Original poster
rooby252 · 11/07/2023 20:11

The PE lesson was predominantly athletics- practicing for sports day which is next week. It was quite hot yesterday so, although no contact sports, definitely very sweaty and opportunities to fall/trip whilst running

OP posts:
themummylife · 11/07/2023 20:11

I’d go to the school and ask to speak to the PE teacher. Just to make it clear that for the next 10 days your DS won’t be partaking in PE.

magnolia1997 · 11/07/2023 20:14

He's 10! Of course the school is at fault (I work in a school).

Prescottdanni123 · 11/07/2023 20:15

To be fair, it is hard for an active ten year old to resist temptation and sit quietly.

You are right, OP that letting the office and deputy head know should be enough but unfortunately communication between school staff can be appalling.

The PE teacher could have used his common sense. Yes he saw the child kicking a football about but the lump on his head should have been evidence that he shouldn't have been doing that. It doesn't take five minutes to check with reception "Can x do PE today?"

Original poster
rooby252 · 11/07/2023 20:15

My son's version of what he did at playtime is that he kicked a ball back and to to his friend for no more than a couple of minutes before a TA suggested he shouldn't in case he hurt himself (I'm aware his idea of a couple of minutes might not be 100% accurate!)
I don't know where the PE teacher was in relation to my son, the playground, the TA to have seen him kicking the ball.

OP posts:
jamdonut · 11/07/2023 20:24

good grief!... our head would have had a risk assessment done that we (teachers and TA's) all had to sign and adhere to if you'd gone in with that at our primary school!!

SaltyCrisps · 11/07/2023 20:26

I too would make a complaint.

ButterCrackers · 11/07/2023 20:26

Send a registered letter to the school explaining the situation and the school had full knowledge that he wasn’t to do P.E. This is in case the school later denies they knew he wasn’t to do sports classes.

TomorrowToday · 11/07/2023 20:30

rooby252 · 11/07/2023 19:56

Yes, I should have written a note with hindsight, but I honestly thought the verbal message given to the office and deputy head would have been enough.
I spoke to my son about not kicking a ball about again for the next 10 days, and he spent every break inside today to avoid the temptation.

Why would you speak to them instead of teacher directly? Is there a separate teacher for pe? What exactly was he asked to do in pe? Are you going to make sure your son sits down and lunch and stop being "sports mad", which is also known as pe when it's organised?

towriteyoumustlive · 11/07/2023 20:30

Clymene · 11/07/2023 19:51

Your son was told he wasn't to do sport for 7-10 days. That includes kicking a ball around at playtime.

Your son is at fault here, not the PE teacher. And you should have written a letter too

I am no fan of PE teachers incidentally.

Agree with this.

Any serious medical reason for not doing PE should have a written letter from the parent.

No written letter and your son playing footy at break I can see why the teacher thought he was taking the p*ss.

Your son is at fault here. Supervised PE is far safer than break time footy!

TomorrowToday · 11/07/2023 20:31

Clarinet1 · 11/07/2023 20:10

On balance I think that the fact that DS was foolish enough to be playing ball at break dies not make it right for the teacher to force him to put himself at further risk.

What does a 10 year old do when he's not in class as only one teacher

Prescottdanni123 · 11/07/2023 20:38

@TomorrowToday

At the school I work in, they either sit on the sidelines and watch/read a book or go and sit in another class for the duration of the PE lesson.

eddiemairswife · 11/07/2023 20:39

PE teachers are not only dim, but also have sadistic tendencies,

Original poster
rooby252 · 11/07/2023 20:40

Why would you speak to them instead of teacher directly? Is there a separate teacher for pe? What exactly was he asked to do in pe? Are you going to make sure your son sits down and lunch and stop being "sports mad", which is also known as pe when it's organised?

Because the PE teacher is never around first thing in the morning when I drop my children off, nor is he there in the afternoon when I pick up. Yes, they have separate teachers for PE. In the morning, there is the deputy head at the gate my children go through and a few TAs to help take some reluctant children through.
In the afternoons, it's a different deputy head and the class teachers at the gate. You never see the PE or music teachers.

Am I going to make sure my son sits down at lunch and stops being sports mad? I've already said he is going to stay in for the rest of the week to avoid temptation.

OP posts:
Changingmynameyetagain · 11/07/2023 20:43

I’d complain to school.
My DD had a huge spinal surgery and wasn’t allowed to do any sport for 6 months and no heavy lifting for 12 months.
1st day back at school 8 weeks post surgery her PE teacher made her collect the tennis balls during the lesson ie being a ball girl.
I was absolutely furious, the teacher however didn’t seem to think it was a big problem as she wasn’t actually doing any sport 🤦‍♀️
I spoke to the head teacher and then followed it up with an email just to make sure they understood the seriousness of it.
She spent the next year in the school library during PE lessons or sometimes shes sit at the side of the sports hall doing homework.

jacckandsalllly · 11/07/2023 20:46

Gently kicking a ball around (if that's what he was doing, and not playing a full on match) is not the same as more intense sports that they might have done in PE.
The teacher had no right to do this and should have took your sons word for it and make a phone call/ spoke to the office afterwards to check. Either way, he would have grounds to punish your son for lying or been told it was correct and he wasn't so do PE.

Forcing him to do it and potentially causing a worse injury was stupid.

CloudPop · 11/07/2023 21:02

Google "concussion protocol "

Your school is deeply out of step with any kind of current guidance

CloudPop · 11/07/2023 21:03

rooby252 · 11/07/2023 20:40

Why would you speak to them instead of teacher directly? Is there a separate teacher for pe? What exactly was he asked to do in pe? Are you going to make sure your son sits down and lunch and stop being "sports mad", which is also known as pe when it's organised?

Because the PE teacher is never around first thing in the morning when I drop my children off, nor is he there in the afternoon when I pick up. Yes, they have separate teachers for PE. In the morning, there is the deputy head at the gate my children go through and a few TAs to help take some reluctant children through.
In the afternoons, it's a different deputy head and the class teachers at the gate. You never see the PE or music teachers.

Am I going to make sure my son sits down at lunch and stops being sports mad? I've already said he is going to stay in for the rest of the week to avoid temptation.

Sorry I posted separately rather than replying. Please google "concussion protocol "

Original poster
rooby252 · 11/07/2023 21:14

Thank you, CloudPop. That's really useful and much more informative than the information given by hospital.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 11/07/2023 21:17

I had a patient with a broken arm in a cast a few years ago that had also been made to do PE. We are having to get specific instructions not to do PE written on discharge letters as schools are being so ridiculous.

Vitriolinsanity · 11/07/2023 21:26

Let's just hold on with the PE teacher abuse shall we.

The failure here was the DH not relaying a message.

To add, a head laceration in itself doesn't necessarily preclude all sport. My own child still participated in his sport as the doctor that stitched it up asked if he typically fell in (he's a rower). When DC said no, doctor said well try not to for a couple of weeks.

teachername · 11/07/2023 21:31

DepH was at fault for not ensuring the staff that needed to know were told.

You were at fault for not explaining to your age 10 child why they needed to sit out from PE (and sports at break/lunch).

The PE teacher was at fault for not using some common sense if the injury is as obvious as your describe and double checking suitability for sport.

If 10 year olds are not known for restraint with sports then they need to be told explicitly what they can/can't do - kicking a ball around could encourage other kids to kick the ball hard towards your DC and compounding the injury. Junior school age are not known for their fantastic ball skills at keeping the ball down on the ground or the strength of their kicks - in fact many of them enjoy kicking it as hard as they can!