Help with fussy 7 week old

[elm26]

Hello

I have a beautiful 7 week old DD.

She's been diagnosed with CMPA, so we've changed milk to Aptamil Pepti 1 on prescription, she also has bad reflux so she's on omeprazole. Omeprazole has made her constipated so now she also has a sachet of laxative in her morning bottle.

Now she's either constipated or in pain with her belly, I cycle her legs and she has diarrhoea and then gags from pushing and projectile vomits everywhere.

I'm so tired, every day we are out walking the dog, I have at least 1 load of laundry 7 days a week (we live in a 1 bed flat so have to lug it up and down stairs to the communal garden and our washing line) my back kills me. If it's raining I have to dry it indoors which is just awful for room and damp. She'll barely let me put her down and fusses/cries even when she's fed and clean.

I feel so overwhelmed and upset at myself as we waited 9 years for her, I love her with all of my heart. The other day she wouldn't stop crying and I had visions of putting her in her Moses basket and driving away for the day (I'd never do this but I actually put my head in my hands in the kitchen and fantasised about it in the moment).

We go to baby class once a week so I do see other mums.

DH is hands on when at home but has his own company so works a lot.

We are moving to a 2 bed house in a few months which I'm looking forward to but everything just seems really hard at the minute.

I feel like I only get the "bad" bits and DH and our family & friends get the cuddles and smiles. By the time DH gets home from work she's exhausted herself. I'm there to help her poo/settle her/quick cuddle whilst feeding her before I have to sterilise bottles/put laundry out/put them both in the car to drive to where I can let our dog off the lead whilst everyone else gets the good bits and I'm worried she's going to start associating me with negative things!

She's also got a heart murmur so we have an appointment for a scan next month.

I feel utterly drained and hats off to anyone who has multiples/2 under 2 etc etc.

Surely when dh gets home you hand her over? Whatever needs doing from them is down to him. Get yourself out with ddog.. Don't be a martyr. Dh needs to wash and make bottles. And comfort his own dc... You aren't a single parent with a lodger op.

@Sunnydaysarentagiveneveninjuly DH does do bottles, cooks dinner, will put laundry on etc. I'm still tired from doing 99% of the caregiving. I'm currently not working. DH is so I wouldn't expect him to do as much as I do.

She's 7 weeks, it will get easier and it's so normal to feel how you are.
DD,nearly four now, was constantly sick as a baby and it drove me crazy. I was constantly washing, in the end we got a dehumidifier and then a heat pump drier.
She was only breastfed for 6 months so no allergy but it's v draining.
Would echo what other poster said, have some time to yourself, it's so important.
I turned into a bit of martyr and did every thing as hubby was working and I wasn't, but looking after a baby all day is harder than work IMO, it made me resentful and not enjoy parenting as much as him.

You are doing great.

These early days ARE hard.

My DD became so much happier once she had had some craniel osteopathy.
I'd advise anyone with a fractious tiny baby to give it a try. It made such a huge difference and she turned into a much happier baby, and after her first ever session had her longest sleep of her entire life.

DH needs to be doing more than 1% of the caregiving. Time for a chat about how to give you more of a break that you can look forward to when times are tough. You need the help now.

I'm so sorry OP, this sounds so tough. It does get easier, I promise. Prioritise getting as much sleep as possible- I go to bed at 9pm (used to be earlier!) and my DW gives our (otherwise breastfed) DD a bottle at around 10pm- we started doing this around 7 weeks (DD is now 7 months) and it has been a lifesaver.

My DD also used to hate being put down, so I used to just have her in a baby carrier pretty much constantly- she'd sleep or chill while I hung up washing/emptied the dishwasher.

Other tips you may find useful- get a dehumidifier to dry the washing more quickly and avoid damp; if you can afford to, get some really nice ready meals (e.g. COOK, allplants) so your DH can be doing other housework instead of cooking in the evenings.

If you aren't already using a good baby carrier/stretchy wrap, that will help.

If she's still refluxy on the pepti, she might need something like neocate - no point constipating her with omeprazole, if the milk she's been prescribed is causing the reflux - I assume the reflux is her main cmpa symptom?