Breakdown imminent

[Coldlightofnight]

I have 3 DC. Toddler, 9 and 12. I’m a single parent with 50/50 care of the older 2 and youngest rarely sees their dad. I’m struggling so much. Mainly with the older ones as they are hard work.
I’m always struggling to make ends meet which impacts my MH greatly.
I just want to hide away and sleep. I’m on edge when I know I have the older DC for a weekend as it’s just hell.
I already take antidepressants but feel like I’m on the verge of imploding. I don’t want to lose my DC but I just need something. Even when I’m at home I get a homesick feeling. It’s horrible

Just realised this is in AIBU. Sorry

This sounds tough OP.
Do you have friends or family nearby that could help you out at all - look after DC for a day or morning/afternoon to let you get a wee break/sleep/walk/treat?

I haven’t really. Everyone has their own lives to deal with so o don’t like to be a bother to anyone. My parents are older so they struggle with the toddler