After 3.5 years of trying to conceive with absolutely no luck, just heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak, we have finally got our first appointment in August to get the ball rolling on our journey to IVF.
I feel terrified, and honestly I don't know why.
For context, I'm 26. DH is 29. We have been together 11 years and have always dreamed of having children. It would make our world complete. We have traveled most of the places we desperately wanted to see, done things we've always wanted to do, and children is the next step for us.
We have been TTC for a long time, and I have had various tests and referrals to different parts of the hospital to find out what's stopping us from conceiving. I've been given the all clear each time. DH has now had 2 sperm checks, and he has had a low count reading on each test. So this is where our struggle lies. Throughout the hardest and most heartbreaking parts of our journey, I was also mis-referred to the gynaecologist for checks as the dr had managed to mix my notes up with a different lady who was having recurrent miscarriages.. so I went along to the appointment, only to realise that of course that area couldn't aid us in our struggles with TTC. After a lengthy battle with the drs they agreed to send a covering letter off explaining the mis referral to the IVF clinic and we have been contacted MUCH faster than I ever thought we would be, to get the ball rolling. First initial meeting with the clinic is early august.
Throughout the height of TTC over the last 3.5 years, a baby is literally all I've been able to think about. But now it's a reality, and it could really happen, I feel terrified. I think it's because I know there are chances that this won't work. And if it doesn't, what do I do?! I'm scared. I long to be a mummy, and it's all we both want.. so why am I now feeling this way
I'm also terrified of the medical procedures I will endure. I know it's a small price to pay for our dream, but I just feel extremely wobbly about everything.