How do I fix myself?

[Shineysparkles]

Hi.

I’ve often wondered if I have slight adhd tendencies but I do not want to look into a diagnosis either way for a variety of other personal reasons

but what I struggle with most is my willpower and procrastinating. For example, when I feel like I have so many things to do I feel so overwhelmed and I end up procrastinating.it’s like my brain can’t cope with them all and it all becomes messy. For example, today I need to reply to several emails, go to the bank, go to Tesco, and make something for dinner. Really not much but it seems so overwhelming in my mind. it’s like studying. I have incredibly neat handwriting and love having everything organised and perfect once I get started. But my actual willpower to do it defeats me.

I could procrastinate an entire day away easily, I just really struggle to do things even though I KNOW I need to do them. Before I know it it’s 8 o’clock and the overwhelmed feeling has made me procrastinate all day and then suddenly I have to rush and get everything done.

does anyone have any advice for techniques that help them if they have similar struggles? TYSM in advance! 😀

You could get a notebook/ diary and write the things you want to do down, breaking big tasks into smaller more manageable ones.
Start with the small easy to do items and tick them off.
Maybe put a time to do it beside each one.
Kind of work up a momentum so that you have a successful start to the day behind you to tackle the more challenging ones later on.
If you're waylaid by technology ( phone, TV, social media) try rewarding yourself with 5 minutes of this once you have achieved a task
Good luck

When I'm feeling overwhelmed I make a list with the days of the week and allocate the tasks to a day, spread out over the week so there's not one day with a whole stack of tasks, eg:

Monday - email Bob
Tuesday - bank
Wednesday - Tesco
Thursday - email Lauren

I wouldn't put dinner on the list, you have to eat, even if it's just cheese on toast, but by making it an item on you're to-do list it can add to the overwhelm

If you can keep on top of just one thing per day you're not doing too badly x

Nothing to add. Just dropping in to read the other responses.

I'm currently looking at a private assessment for ADHD.

I find writing it down helps as then you're just following tasks and 'outsource' the thinking to your list.
It also helps if you have a supportive relative or friend - I send a message to my sister and tell her things like 'by 2pm, I'll have sent emails to Bob, Ben and Bill and done the shopping'
Then I feel I have to do it because I have a deadline and don't want to look useless.

I have ADHD and if I have 'plans' or a 'to do list' I get seriously overwhelmed and I'll just hide in my bed. I have to do just one thing at a time a focus solely on that one task. For example: 'I'm going to go to the bank and then if I don't get anything else done today then that's ok'. Usually I find once I've completed one task and I'm 'out and about' I'm more inclined to do the next one. It's the pressure to do it I can't cope with. Also getting myself ready and out the door first thing is a MUST because if I give myself time to think about it, I'll 'think' myself out of doing it altogether.

When I make a to do list I always start it with a few easy things or things I've already done like clean teeth, put washing on, make beds etc. Somehow it always seems more doable if I've crossed several things off my list at the start. Daft, but it works for me.

Could you try breaking it down into smaller tasks and then ticking off each thing? If you do have ADHD the little dopamine hit you get from ticking off each step acts as a motivator for the next step.

Eg. Instead of go to Tesco break it down into

Find pen and paper
write shopping list
find shopping bags
Check bag for purse, card/cash, clubcard, keys, phone
Put shoes on
Check bag again
Check for list and shopping bags
Check the front door is locked
Get in the car
Drive to Tesco
Etc.

Going food shopping isn't one small job, it's a big job. There is a lot going on and a lot of smaller tasks that make up that one thing. When you're back make sure to do something restful before moving on to the next thing, and write your next to do list

I struggle with motivation.. had to give up career to care for very poorly son .. on a good day it's just household tasks on a bad it's hospital trips. My brain has gone to mush.

Recently self referred to 'healthy minds ' for an online programme of coping strategies for depression & overwhelm.

A friend said to me call it a 'Tada'! list .. celebrate the things you HAVE done & place a little reward at the end of it.

I like to set an alarm for say 15 minutes and race the clock to get a task done .. maybe with a little treat at the end if I've done it ..

Buddhist teachings can be helpful.. do one simple task well .. don't think too hard just do it. A sense of accomplishment may follow. I think a lot of peeps struggle with this 💞