Pics on social media

[Rad123]

AIBU to be annoyed that every photo I sent MIL of 4 month old DS is shared by her on FB?

Me and DH aren't big social media posters, I've put up 3 pics of DS since he was born but MIL posts every time I send a photo. It winds me up no end! She lives about 4h from us so doesn't get to see DS often so I don't to stop sending pics of him; but equally I don't want to think about what to send as I know she'll post instantly. They just aren't hers to share and I don't like the thought of everything I send her being plastered all over the internet.

AIBU seeing as I've posted a couple of photos myself?! Or is this irritation justified?

Have you raised this with her? If you haven't spoken to her about it, how is she to know that they're not to share? When she was bringing up her DC social media just wasn't a thing.

She's doing it because she loves him, she's proud of him and his parents and she misses him. They sound like pretty good qualities in a GM to me. Speak to her, but kindly. 😊

If you've never asked her not to, or talked to her about it, then yes you are totally unreasonable to expect her to read your mind.

Apparently people have no boundaries or consideration for others,even family.
Be direct and confident in telling them your expectations.Sad though huh....

One 4 month looks much like the other. Not seeing the problem. I can't pick 2 of my kids baby photos apart. Maybe mention it when they are older if it's something that stresses you out.

Re. raising it, to be honest I've only raised it indirectly - I've told her we don't like it when people put everything on FB, but I haven't specifically asked her not to as I don't want to upset her as I know how much she misses DS.

Yabu who cares you’ve uploaded pics on sm regardless of how many?! Your child is still on the internet so there that.

Different story if you put a blanket rule of dc is not to go on any sm! She’s a proud granny you sound hard bludy work!

If you haven't told her, then of course you're being unreasonable! Tell her how you feel, FFS.

You are posting yourself so it's not like you have a no social media rule in place.

You are being a hypocrite

YABU she's not a mind reader. If you've shared photos and haven't actually said anything to her about not sharing photos, she's just following your lead. If you don't want photos online then you need to lead by example.

Tell her directly can she please not do it and delete the previous photos she's uploaded, you as parents would like to be the only ones to post any photos.

That's reasonable.

I'd get DH to handle this one if he's willing! Just say you've been having a think, and you don't want DC to have a big online presence until they're old enough to consent. You might post the occasional photo of a birthday or holiday, but your profile is locked down so you know who can see it. You're asking everyone if they would please refrain from posting photos of your DC on social media.

Keep it light and impersonal.

Just ask her not to. Some people can't take a hint and need to be told more directly. You can ask her nicely so it shouldn't upset her.

I never post pictures of other people on SM without asking first.

If she ignores your request you will have to stop sending her pictures. Just talk on Zoom/Teams/Facetime instead with your baby on your knee so she can see her grandchild.

This would annoy me; I share some photos but I know who I’m sharing them with. I’d expect anyone else to ask me first and in my circle that’s the etiquette although I have noticed older family members doing this now and again so I have politely mentioned my feelings on this.

YABU purely because you haven't told her not to upload them when you know she is doing it!!! Tell her directly - MIL, I do not want any photo of DC uploaded by anyone, including you, to social media.

Thanks all! I was hoping DH would step in but will have to myself, and sounds like I need to cut her a bit of slack in any case!