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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School swimming trip

23 replies

wanttokickoffbutcant · 10/07/2023 22:38

I am so on the fence here I have splinters in my bum so would like some opinions.

DD Yr 8 has a trip to a lido on Friday as an end of year treat.

They were told today that girls are not allowed to wear bikini's as it is "inappropriate".

No advice to boys as to not wear Speedo's or other tight fitting swimwear.

My daughter wears a proper swimming costume for swimming in a pool but wears a bikini at the beach on holiday or if I take her to a local outdoor pool.

I have told her that she needs to abide by the schools direction but she has asked why and I am struggling to find any reason other then the male staff present will be uncomfortable or she should cover up in front of teenage boys,
both of which make me a bit uneasy.

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 10/07/2023 22:43

Bikinis are not sun safe same with speedos

But I would just say it's the rule

Dacadactyl · 10/07/2023 22:47

Might just be to avoid any unfortunate wardrobe malfunctions which would cause maximum embarrassment for any girl it happened to in this age group.

I'd just explain it like that. It's easy for boobs to pop out and not every girl is gonna have a decent sporty swim bikini. If they've only got string bikini top etc it's easy to see how a malfunction might happen.

PaigeMatthews · 10/07/2023 22:47

Id ask in what way it is inappropriate. Id also point out they hadnt asked the parents to ensure the children are in spf rash vests too. But my kids primary school hate me… and I do not care.

Bromptotoo · 10/07/2023 22:50

Year 8 so approx 13?

I remember my son that age and a 13yo lass he met on holiday who looked at least 2 years older. I don't like the word inappropriate as a justification for a rule but I can sort of see it here although if June's bustin out all over a swimsuit will no more cover them than a bikini!!

As you say, them's the rules. The girls could try and campaign for them to be changed but on the day it's likely that any who don't abide will be back in uniform lickety split...

Totaly · 10/07/2023 22:50

It’s very rarely down to the school rules - swimming clubs tend to have their own rules

Bu all means send her in a bikini but some be surprised if they refuse her entry.

If she has a suit what’s the big deal?

Valhalla17 · 10/07/2023 22:54

A swimsuit is going to be much more comfortable/practical when playing with friends in the water etc. I suspect the school or the venue want to avoid any wardrobe malfunctions with children....I don't think it's unreasonable.

Original poster
wanttokickoffbutcant · 10/07/2023 22:59

@Bromptotoo yes 13 and does have boobs - is taller than me and similar size.

@Totaly she wears a proper speedo swimsuit for swimming - did lessons for years and now swims independently at a local pool. This is about a lido, meant to be fun with slides, inflatables etc....

Her bikini is not a string one. It fits properly.

Don't get me started on the harassment my poor girl gets just from walking down the street - usually from older men because she is 5"6 and blonde. She has been walking in front of me before and I have seen middle aged men shout out comments to her from their car or van.

OP posts:
Talipesmum · 10/07/2023 23:01

I’d tell her it’s likely a mix of practicality and caution - bikinis might get mucked about with by kids messing around - and old fashioned policing of women’s bodies and different unfair standards for men and women.

qbansopwt · 10/07/2023 23:03

PaigeMatthews · 10/07/2023 22:47

Id ask in what way it is inappropriate. Id also point out they hadnt asked the parents to ensure the children are in spf rash vests too. But my kids primary school hate me… and I do not care.

Weird thing to be so proud of, congratulations though!

UsingChangeofName · 10/07/2023 23:05

I agree with @Dacadactyl and @Valhalla17

The link you are trying to make about Speedos is irrelevant as no Yr 8 boy is going to rock up in speedos.

HereToo · 10/07/2023 23:08

Yeah forget the Speedos and just ask the school why?

PuttingDownRoots · 10/07/2023 23:11

One piece swimming costume is a pretty standard school rule really...

I can see why they ate saying it. They don't want to be in a position of saying a particular girls bikini isn't suitable.... because let's be honest, teenagers like to push boundaries.

Original poster
wanttokickoffbutcant · 10/07/2023 23:11

@Talipesmum that is exactly my approach.

@UsingChangeofName not my point - they were not deemed may be turning up with any inappropriate clothing.

OP posts:
QuickWash · 10/07/2023 23:16

To be fair, I ask my dds not to wear bikinis if we are going somewhere with slides. I had a wardrobe malfunction as a teen in similar circumstances and wouldn't wish it on anyone!

JobMatch3000 · 10/07/2023 23:17

Can she wear a tankini?

IMO bikinis are for sunbathing on the beach and tankinis and costumes are for swimming.

My own DD would prefer board shorts and a rash vest. Perhaps they should have that rule for all.

Original poster
wanttokickoffbutcant · 10/07/2023 23:22

@JobMatch3000 I think that may well be the answer. She used to wear those when she was younger and as they will be messing around on slides and inflatables I can sell that to her. Shopping tomorrow evening then....

My point was really the way the school dealt with it, that girls bodies should not be displayed but perhaps I am just reading too much into the whole thing.

Primark tomorrow ....

OP posts:
Avatartar · 10/07/2023 23:24

I’d say bikini is fashion and swimsuit is sport. It’s practical- no one can untie your top and watch it fall off. Any jumping in with a bikini could mean bottoms down and top up - also rules are not always there to be broken - just stick to them - surely she can understand why

Maddy70 · 10/07/2023 23:30

Bikini tops come off on slides guess how I found out

It's to save them embarrassment

Bellabelloo · 10/07/2023 23:31

I know 13 year old girls who wear the g string bottoms with string tops that I think would be totally inappropriate for a school trip (and in all other situations at that age imho) so safer just to have a simple rule. Just let them be kids.

Orders76 · 10/07/2023 23:35

Maddy70 · 10/07/2023 23:30

Bikini tops come off on slides guess how I found out

It's to save them embarrassment

Same here, easier to wear a one piece

ThinWomansBrain · 10/07/2023 23:38

"Her bikini is not a string one. It fits properly."
Your daughter's may be - do you expect the school to get involved in describing which aspects of a bikini meet the criteria of dressing appropriately, get involved in assessing how well they fit?
Far easier to say no bikinis to ensure all will be appropriately clad.

Totaly · 10/07/2023 23:39

Bikini tops come off on slides guess how I found out

Me too!

Original poster
wanttokickoffbutcant · 11/07/2023 22:55

@ThinWomansBrain did you not see my earlier pot?

OP posts:
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