To ask why your marriage ended?

[Hotsaucehot]

How did you know it was the end? Was it a long time coming or sudden? Anything that helped to make it clearer?

Been in an extremely rough patch for 2 years now, wondering when to call it a day…

Husband #1 of 13 years cheated but on reflection we had grown apart and had different values. Husband #2 of 10 years cheated but he was a nasty character. He was an abusive drunkard so I feel no loss. I am not looking for #3 😁

I married a man who thought marriage was someone at home looking after the house, child, life admin and separate social life whilst he had total freedom to live like a single man indulging his workaholism and obsession with sport. He would put on a show as a family man for outsiders but completely resistant to change. I was miserable, trapped and lonely.

One day I thought why am I putting up with this? This is going to be the rest of my life if I don't get out now.

So I did.

Got loads of crap from some 'friends' and my family sided with my ex husband so was a very rough ride for a long time but now with a normal partner capable of loving intimacy and couldn't be happier. Daughter estranged from her father for last ten years as he treated her the same way he treated me.

So sorry to read that your family and friends sided with him, that's so poor.

Thank you @Mmhmmn , they did me a favour actually. I developed severe anxiety because I thought there must be something wrong with me to have upset so many people and went into therapy. I discovered it wasn't me, my childhood had led me to naturally take the blame when my family and ex-husband were the emotionally abusive ones. NC for years now and couldn't be happier. Life is better without them. The friends were manipulated and taken in by him so their bad for taking sides with so little evidence.

Society makes it hard for women to leave bad Rl I Think. There's lots of "how could you"and so on from "friends ".Women always seem to get responsibility for dc as well. And many feel unable to provide as well as a married couple .very unfair I think

He was drinking and sniffing his wages away and I ended up in debt trying to keep the rent and bills paid. He smashed the flat up in a rage once too. I also found a few hotel receipts. Ended it after six months of marriage. Best decision I ever made. Six years later he still can’t make ends meet and I’m in a beautiful house I bought with my new partner.