To not know if I can deal with another baby

[Suffering4yearson]

I'm in a situation where I'm considering if we should have another baby.
I'm 38 years old and have a 15 month old DS. I love him to bits but I had dreadful PND and OCD which stripped off all the will to enjoy life. I spent days hiding in the house hiding sharp tools from myself in case I went bonkers and did something dreadful. I felt much better only after I went back to work and managed to love being a mum.
It took me a while and a lot of support to feel like myself again and to bond with DS. AIBU to want to be one and done?
I have no family and friends here and DH has some friends but both his parents are gone. We aren't close with any of his remaining family. I was unbelievably lonely after I gave birth, felt terrible.
I'm worried that I will render my DS lonely by not giving him a sibling but I can't face another delivery and post partum period. The idea of being pregnant makes my emergency caesarean scar almost hurt.
We are fortunate to be in a very good financial situation but I had a lot of hardships in the past and want to travel and enjoy life a bit rather than begging the health visitor to refer me to a charity for lonely mums. One side of me says, suck it up, it will get better and you will love having a 2nd one, the other says you won't cope.
AIBU?

I couldn't have put myself through it again. I'm one and done myself.

I think you need to have an overwhelming urge to have another child to be able to face going through that again. If you're ambivalent, or not sure you could cope, it seems a hell of a lot to go through on the strength of "maybe".

Better a healthy Mom, no siblings and lots of friends that a sibling and no Mom /a poorly Mom

You’ve detailed really clearly in your OP why you don’t want / shouldn’t have a second.

You would be unreasonable to have a 2nd in those circumstances tbh

Hello, I’m in a desperate situation and I have absolutely no idea what to do and could really do with some advice/opinions. I found out last week that I am pregnant, it was an unplanned pregnancy and it came as a real shock especially as my partner had the snip a few weeks prior! I already have two gorgeous boys, 9 years old and 18 months old. Myself and my partner weren’t planning on having anymore children hence the reason he had the snip however since finding out I’m pregnant again I’m overwhelmed with what to do. Myself, my partner and my two boys all live in a two bed apartment and my partner is facing severe financial hardship, he’s also not in the best of health as he’s had two back operations, still suffers with his back and will also have to have both his hips replaced at some point as well. My partner said he would love to have another baby but he just doesn’t know how it would work due to living in a small flat, financial issues, I’m not working and he also worries if it’ll impact our current children. He also said he’s worried about both our mental well-being, how we would cope and the fact we’d never have anytime to ourselves anymore as we wouldn’t have the money to really do anything just us two as well as not having a lot of support around us making childcare very hard. Even though I know what the ‘sensible’ most ‘responsible’ decision may be I’m still in two kinds of what to do. Do I have the baby and ultimately find like very very difficult and myself and mr partner ultimately being affected because of this and my current children or do I have an abortion which I’m so worried I’ll regret as I’m already constantly thinking of the what ifs and what baby would be, look like, be like etc and I’m already overwhelmed with so much guilt just the thought of it but everyone I’ve spoken to think this is the best most responsible route to take but I just don’t know what to do 😢😢

You will not render ds lonely.

I have a brother. I barely speak to him. Hr was useless when mum died.

Having a sibling for the existing child is a massive gamble. And that seems to be the only reason this is a dilemma for you.