Cannot agree on ‘fun money’ amount

[Captainobvious35]

Hello,

Me and my OH are both bad spenders and have decided to allocate a monthly budget for fun money. I am wondering what other people’s budgets are for this. We have a disposable income of about £1,350 between us once all bills, food, mortgage etc is paid. This is without moving any money into savings. I think we should put about 600 into savings per month and the rest can be fun money. He thinks that this doesn’t leave us with enough fun money (£375 each per month.) I think he’s out of touch!

AIBU?!

Please any guidance will be so helpful, we’ve never budgeted before and always end up wasting our money.

Thank you.

Same here!

Does the bills include annual costs like MOT, car insurance, birthday presents, Christmas, holidays etc? If not you need to allow for that as well?

I'd be putting the cost for the above into a short term savings account, then another several hundred a month into medium term (to pay for things like renovations, a new car, stamp duty if you move house in the future).

Then the rest can be for fun money. If it's looking stingy, I'd then work out what's sensible for fun money - clothes, hair, nails, hobbies, eating out, other bits? And look again at budgets for holidays, Christmas and any medium term stuff and rejig til I was happy.

We should probably do this 😂. Attached is just my account, the other halves probably has about the same split.

Bills, mortgage etc come out of the joint account.

Ouch. With savings that low, I'd be putting a lot more away each month and cutting your fun spending right down.

Yes bills includes MOTs, insurance, etc. Doesn’t include birthdays or Christmas but we have never struggled to buy anything, which I think is half the issue. I don’t think he realises how quickly we’d be on our arse if one of us lost a job or something (not that we plan to) but using our 10k safety net has made me realise we need to build it back and then some instead of just spending all of our money on crap.

What is that a screenshot of Herbiebananas is it an app? Looks useful !

It sounds like a lot of fun though! Lots of meals out and theatre visits every month. Not hugely lavish but definitely not being careful with money.

Even £375 pm fun money for 2 fully grown adults with a child is a lot of money.
im assuming you work full time?
so what’s the point in paying someone else to look after your baby if you have all this surplus money to have ‘fun’???
in the old days back when mums were around for their baby’s, adults didn’t have ‘fun money’ sounds like your partner needs to grow up.

It sounds like you've got everything covered which is a good thing. People often come unstuck due to 'unexpected' expenses which turn out to be things like car repairs that they'd not planned for - if you have a car, you need to save to repair it, as the expense will come up sooner or later.

What is it that your DP is spending money on that £375 pm is not enough?

Can you trim some of your expenses to free up more money - eg broadband, phones etc? Do you actually use the gym to justify paying for it?

How secure are your jobs and what is your sick pay entitlement? If you're nurses, teachers etc with secure employment and good sick pay, you don't need as much of an emergency fund compared with if you're contractors so don't earn if you don't work.

But £3k isn't a huge amount in savings - it will only be a month or two of expenses which won't last long if you're out of work. Then how will you cope with a boiler or car replacement? That would wipe out your savings - you need to be saving a bit more, rather than spending so much on non essentials.

What does he want to do op? As its all very well people going that's loafs but if he feelsnits not and end up feeling financially controlled or forced into something that doesn't feel right for him that coildnerode on your relationship. Can you meet half way? say he wants 500 each a month so you compromise on 435 each month. Or try it out for 6 months with x amount and re evalue?

So which bill are you suggesting they don't pay so they can spend more on fun?

Or they use up their savings, but what happens when they run out? Then the car needs repairing but they have no spare money because it's gone on nights out and parking tickets?

Note that the OP has savings and he doesn't. So if they do have an extra expense, it's her who's going to end up paying for it, because he's spent all his money on personal non essentials.

I would suggest a trial period with £375 to him and see how you both get on. You could always adjust it afterwards. It would be more than enough for me. Mostly because most of our costs e.g. clothes, make up etc come out of our essential budget and the fun money doesn't have to cover much.

The problem with comparing to what other people do is that their fun money may or may not include their children's hobbies, pet supplies, eating out, their own hobbies, gym memberships, phone contracts, holidays, days out so that someone may have hundreds of pounds more fun money than someone else yet have less to spend than the other person.

The amounts I have left after bills is a lot more than you.

We save about 75% of all left over money.

You haven’t indicated what age you are either, if you’re 25 and have 3k savings then fair enough but if your 45 it’s not so great.

No I work 3 days a week and my partner works 4 our daughter isn’t in childcare, we split it between us and grandparents help out a lot so we’re lucky there. I want fun money too, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that @Mumtothreegirlies it’s just concerning that we have lost a chunk of our savings so we need to change our spending habits slightly. Our jobs are both very secure, I do think I could cut my gym membership because I do a lot of running and outdoor exercise in the summer. He spends on just frivolous things, meals out, clothes, etc. We’re early 30s.

10% of your take home for fun is a good guide and 10% for long term savings.

There was a woman on here a few months ago who was a high earner with no savings and very high outgoings and something had happened like a car accident and her husband could no longer earn, and she was stuffed. It was a hard read as she realised she should be able to cope with the situation but couldn’t as they had spent every penny and had nothing to call on.

you can’t plan for accidents or ill health or even firms going bust so excellent insurance and savings are needed

Who are you talking to there?

I see op saying bills are paid and the question is how much to save and how much to have as fun money. In my view there should absolutely be a joint conversation and some level of compromise here. They are meant to be a partnership.

It's all very well to say ops view is fine. Her partner doesn't feel that way. So start communicating and work out a compromise they both feel ok about.

We don't budget, we tend to be a bit more go with the flow.
Some months we can spend loads, we might have a trip to the casino, go to a football match, take kids to the theme park and have a couple of meals out.
Another month we might spend very little, do bbqs or takeaway and movie nights at home, trip to the local forest (we have an annual pass) or the seaside.
Some months we put a decent amount in the savings and other months none! I am trying to put a minimum £500 a month away at the.moment, we have some jobs to.do on the house that will cost us a good 4k and while we do have some savings, that would eat up a massive chunk!

We have £450 ‘fun money’ between us, this includes money we would also spend on family days out on a weekend etc and treats for our son too. We don’t really spend much on ourselves to be honest.

We put £300 into a LISA, £500 towards holidays and £300 aside in an emergency fund.

My fun money used to be more like £600 a month. Now I’m SAHM it’s £150 but I don’t really miss it. I used to buy silly expensive clothes and make up for work, lunches from itsu etc. Now I just don’t care about those things ?! I eat more at home and wear a bit of a rotating wardrobe of like 8 outfits

Sorry that's an absolutely ridiculous amount of money to spend on that kind of stuff in a month. Noone I know would dream of having two expensive days out with lunch plus a trip to the theatre plus go out for two very expensive meals in a month.

DH and I have £300 between us and manage fine. Do people really think frittering £750 a month on eating out and other "fun" is normal?!

OP are you budgeting for everything when you say you've got that amount left?

Where are birthdays/Christmas coming from? Car costs? Is that all in your budget?

Do you have a long term fixed mortgage? If not you should maybe think about over paying or saving more. There are a lot of people atm who were merrily spending loads last year and now their mortgage payments have doubled.

It’s not rediculous for us. It might be for yiu, but we are very social people who are rarely in the house other than to sleep and get ready for work or to go out.

As a couple in our forties we easily spend 2k a month on eating out, drinks, shows and taxis. Clothes etc are extra but I don’t spend much on those and I guess my wife is about £300 a month when you include nails, makeup and hair.

We are all different. In the two years we have lived in this house I guess we have prepared food unit less than ten times and they would have nearly all been when family were over at Christmas.

You may not think it's ridiculous but do you understand that that's more than most people earn?!

If you are a very very high earner then it's up to you what you spend it on but it's certainly not a "normal" amount of fun money to have.

You've got to realise though that preparing your own food less than 10 times in two years is so incredibly far removed from life for the vast, vast majority of people, as is spending £2k a month just on going out?

Or are you really that naive to think it's relatable? In which case I'm amazed you earn enough to spend that.