Not to want my 3 yo son to join a 2-3 nursery class

[karpouzi]

My son turns 3 in the September and he has been going in a private nursery since he was 11 month. In August, in his private nursery they confirmed that he will move up to the preschool class (3-4yo). In the meantime, he has been accepted in a school nursery, which we are keen to send him but they told us that he will be in the 2-3yo class. AIBU that I am not happy with it? I appreciate that he will always be the oldest in a class in the future but at this age I feel the gap between 2 & 3 yo is massive in terms of development, speech etc. I really don’t want him to go backwards. The school nursery also confirmed that he will be there for a year rather than for one term. What should we do?

They have allocated him to the year group he will be in when he starts school.
Do you want him to attend this school? What is it you want for him over the next two years before he goes?
If you are planning for him to go to this school then attending the nursery will be very beneficial. He will be in the peer group that will go with him through to year 6. He will have formed strong social relationships and the transition to big school will be easier.
He is unlikely to go ‘backwards’! He is also unlikely to be the only one of a similar age. These kids will the kids he goes to school with. They all catch each other up very quickly. Even just by the time they’re 5 it’s almost impossible to tell which are the eldest.

They will work on school years, so the pre school class will be the children who will be starting school September 2024. He will then move up to that class with his peers.

really it’s better than him having all his friends move up next year and leaving him.

He will be in the class due to start school in Sept 25.
Send him next year if you don't want him in the younger year

Agree that the 2-3 year old room is the better option.

That is not something you can do in English, state schools.

I meant send to the school nursery just for one year from next year... I realise that could be read as send him to school a year early!

You don't have to send him to the school nursery if you don't want him to be in that age group at the moment. You can keep him in the private nursery until he starts school at which point yes he will be the eldest but the developmental difference will be less obvious

Assuming you are in England, when he starts reception, he will be in a class where he is just 5 and some of the other children will only have just turned 4 - maybe even just the week before.
The school nursery classes will be set up the same way. Anyone with a September birthday will be up to a year older than the youngest with August birthdays.

Your son will still be 2 when he joins so he’s in the right class. With DS as he’s a good talker and good at making friends he always got put in classes with older kids and at 3.5 was with the 5 year olds. I hated this because I want him to learn how to socialise with kids his age - so I moved him to a different preschool

OP as someone with summer born children - I can tell you ALL the research shows your son will benefit from being the oldest. And this benefit will continue for his entire life!

My experience has been more that there is so much variation between kids' levels of development/speech at this age, you can't guarantee that a 3 year old will necessarily be a better talker than a 2 year old. Personally I'd take the opportunity to have him join in with his future reception class.

Well I presume he will be in the 2-3 room at the school preschool because that is his "school year". The others will gradually turn 3 over the course of the year.

The private nursery probably has the 3-4 year olds together as they don't follow the school year.

Like you say, as a September baby he will always be one of the oldest in the class, but in my experience this doesn't always been the most developed so I would worry less about the ages of the children and more about the practicality of each setting...
Is the school nursery attached to the school you'd like him to eventually attend? If so, it would be nice for him to be friends with children who will all start school together.

What experiences does each one offer? Our private nursery offered swimming lessons, yoga, mini scientists, day trips out etc.

The other thing to think about is the hours each one offers. Do you need the longer day of a private nursery?

I had one child who went to a private nursery right up until they started school and one went to a school nursery (dc was a September baby too). There was no difference in their learning/development from the different experiences.

My littlest will be 3 in early September, it's becoming obvious that it's a difficult birthday to have!
She's already done 2 terms in a school nursery, ours they're all in together for the most part, but do activities in small groups in their age groups.
I do worry that she will be fed up of nursery after another year, and that the nursery will be fed up with her :P still think it's better to be eldest in the year than the youngest though!

As others have said it's to do with peer groups .
Continue to do things at home like letters...time..etc

If he was in the 3-4 class from September then all his playmates would leave in July and he'd have to make whole new cohort of peers. That would be unnecessarily harsh for him. School nursery is all about learning through play and developing social skills.

Private nurseries will move the children up based on their birthday, but that is more to do with the changing child to adult ratio and maximising their profit than what stage of development the child is at.

A 2-3 class sounds a better fit for a very-soon-to-be-3 child surely?

A 3-4 class for a child who will still actually be 2 when he starts, would be a big stretch developmentally. Personally, I'd rather my child joins a class where they are the oldest, rather than the youngest. Particularly at an early age.

The probably with being an August or September baby is that you're ALWAYS going to be the very youngest, or the very oldest. Not much you can do about that, and it balances out eventually. He'll have been placed with his academic year group, which is best long-term.

He’ll be with the class he’s going to school with.
If they have 2 nursery classes and reception you may find there’s mixing especially if they are in a shared space.
Lots is free flow and child led.
If there’s paper and crayons for example some children will scribble, some draw recognisable objects and some will be wanting to write.
Dd’s nursery did a fund raiser tea towel and it was amazing the difference in how they drew themselves and wrote their names yet all same class.

If they did put him in the older class it will be awkward as they will do lots of getting ready for school and all his peers will leave for school then he’ll still have 1 more year in nursery.