B&SIL

[Blueymum1988]

Am i being unreasonable?

My brother and sister in law have recently really annoyed me.
They seem to want constant attention.

My husband and I got engaged, and on the day we booked our wedding and told everyone. They got engaged.

(This was before he hold my husband not to get engaged to me, as he wanted to do it first. My husband waited 18month so he just did it and couldnt wait anymore)

They said they wanted to get married first as they had been together longer ( which wasnt entirely true as they broke up for 12 months) but we said it was fine. I couldnt care less. But due to covid we have all had to rearrange. We re-booked ours and had a message to ask if they could get married the day before as it was good for them, then they wanted the weekend before. We obviously said NO and then changed it to a couple of weeks before.

We had previously discussed wedding stuff, My style is very alternative where as hers isnt, so I thought I was safe.Turns out and she bought the same shoes and a similar style dress. I was so upset. But to top it all off she asked where I got my Bridesmaid dresses from, and she promised not to get the same as me if I told her, as she was desperate, so I did and told her we had a particular style so not to get them..... and then she apologised and said oh so sorry just bought that.
Her colour theme changed to a colour very similar to mine. (Nothing like she previously decided)

We had out house decorated.... they came up to visit. And 3 weeks later had theirs decorated the same.

We went to their wedding in covid. But when ours rolled around after more lockdowns and cancellations. She didnt want to come as she wanted to save her holidays for herself.

I found out I was pregnant and then didnt see her until the baby was almost 11 months. She refused to hold or play with the baby.

After this I have tried to distance myself from them. We often have family meals but shes busy with other engagements. Which is fine by me.

I hadn't seen her until this week. My baby is now 2 and shes 6 months pregnant.

Last week my dog of 12 years died..... guess what... they are naming the baby the same name as my dog.

They where miraculously 1 week pregnant (didnt even think that was possible) on the birth of my baby. Then this never amounted to anything.

There are a tonne of other things toov like my husband lending him a bike and he sold it, lending him money and not getting it back etc.

But my husband and I are falling out as he wants to lend all our baby stuff to them as we have spent a fortune and I know we wont get it back. Which he says doesnt matter. I think it does. We cant afford to re buy everything Especially when we're currently trying for another baby and childcare costs eat up most of my wage.

Am I being unreasonable?

>So one week pregnant is one week before they DTD isn't it?

The prophesied child, awaiting these long ages!

You would be unreasonable if you didn't nickname their child Indiana, as they're named after a dog.

You could have some fun. Tell them if you have another child you are thinking of calling it (think up weird name) and see if they steal that name. Tell your DH you are attached to your baby items and want your second child to use them so won't be lending them to BiL and SiL who sound very attention seeking. Pack them away safely.

How strange and annoying. It sounds like they (your SIL expecially) hold you in very high esteem and long to be like you, yet simultaneously resent the fact that they do! I have known a few people like this but not as extreme.

Tell them nothing and more importantly, give them nothing! Those are your things and they’ve already proven they’ll just sell it and play the victim.

They’re fucking mental. Go low or no contact. Your husband is a total drip too.

I knew someone this happened too with her SiL! Many years ago now but very similar.
Her SiL used her dead cats name for a baby (lily) so at first we were quite, understanding as Lily was the in name.
And then she got pregnant with another daughter.
But then this friend who was full on blingy (think back to river island rhinestone belts and the start of scouse brows level bling) became pregnant with her own DD, she customised herself a Silver Cross coach pram, sprayed the metal bits neon pink and recovered it in purple fabric she covered with sparkling iridescent stones and pink silk flowers. (We thought it was the height of stylishness, oh bless us) but the SiL did it with her pram, just the colours the other way around.
But SiL was desperate to know the baby's name, (she was due a matter of weeks earlier) so my pal made up a spectacular name. It was the kind of name you could only imagine a small child giving a doll.
Anyway, her SiL used it.

It's it's just made me realise that poor baby will be leaving high-school soon and I'm feeling old now 😂

But yes, very strange behaviour OP, it sounds very competitive to me, but I once encouraged a friend to spray a beautiful vintage pram neon pink, don't listen to me ffs. Maybe she is a bit in awe of you x

Exactly 🤣🤣

This comment made me laugh so much.

Wowza. Absolutely DO NOT lend them your baby stuff!!

my ex sil was like this. We found out we were pregnant and told the ex in-laws (pre divorce obvs) my ex sil was also pregnant but waiting until 12 weeks to say anything…

her dad told me to be gentle when I told ex sil as ‘she wanted to be first’

so glad I’m away from all those nutters now 🤣

That would annoy me so much.
The only consolation for you is they obviously think you have fantastic taste and completely lack any imagination themselves.
They sound crazy and I would distance myself. When their baby is born everything will become a competition for them.
I think the craziest thing I read is that she is naming her baby after your deceased dog! I would make a lovely photo tribute of your dog on the wall, with its name in the middle. She might change her mind when she realises her child will eventually see they were named after a dog.

Probably an angel told your SIL the week before that she had conceived. OP give your head a wobble and stop being jealous that your SIL is expecting the Promised Child.

Of course, because it is so special, it won't just have a bog standard 9 months gestation. For all we know it could eventually be born in 2026 when the stars align. Plenty of time for you to stock up on frankincense.

They sound like right CFs. Absolutely don't give them or lend them your baby stuff. Either sell it or store it somewhere secure.

I think it's hilarious if they use your dead dogs name for their child. Laugh each time they mention it, with a quick "sorry, sorry can't help it. It's just naming a cute little baby after a dead dog really tickles my funny bone" or similar.

They sound absolutely unhinged. Ditch them, life's too short for their nonsense.

Omg do the funny name suggestion!
'we really want to call next baby X, we love it'

theyll drop the dogs name like a hot potato and take this !!

It's tough, and you need to stay strong on this, but given that they are just so blatant about who they are, if I were you I'd start treating it like entertainment.

Start hashtagging photos on Insta #EmigrateDreams and photos of Australia.

Start conversations about wanting to Foster blind cats.

Go vegan (out loud) and just keep seeing how far they take their obsessions with you both.

Definitely don't lend out any baby items you would like to use again.

In terms of everything else, I would probably agree with your DH that they just have no thoughts of their own and look up to you. It doesn't make it any less annoying but I wouldn't use up too much energy getting annoyed about it. Life is short. I feel sad for them in a way.

I wold put them on an information diet and be very clear with your Dh that your stuff is not to be given away. Why would do that if you’re not finished having your family?

My son is 5 months old.
B & SIL live 3.5-4 hours away.

They've been to visit us a few times, but they keep asking when we're going to visit them where they live.

Simple truth is we don't feel ready/mentally prepared for a journey that long just yet with baby because of stops and his sleep. It's also really draining and stressful for us going anywhere at the moment.

B & SIL visited again yesterday. SIL is absolutely brilliant and hands on. But both keep making comments like 'surely you can do a long journey with a baby now!' and 'we were actually going to ask you guys when you want to come and visit?'

Are we being unreasonable? Are we just being too cautious and should just go to visit to keep them happy? Or how do we politely say they're being unreasonable and need to stop taking it personally and be a bit more understanding?