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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hire a driver

12 replies

HairyMaclaryfromDD · 09/07/2023 23:45

Or am I missing something really obvious?

Husband is having surgery. We are meant to be going away for the summer 5 days after his surgery (to another part of the UK to house sit) but he won't be clear to drive. It'd be great to still go to where we planned to spend the summer as we've planned a lot around being there (activities for kids etc).

I can't drive long-distance for medical reasons. It's 4 hours drive.

He doesn't want to get the train as then we'd have no car there once he was clear to drive and it's very remote. Hiring a car for the length of time we're going to be there would be ££££.

So is there a way to hire a driver to just drive us all there in our car, and should I do it? Or is there a better way that I'm missing? The other option is stay home till he's clear to drive but he really wants to go.

OP posts:

olympicsrock · 09/07/2023 23:53

This is a bad idea. I’m a surgeon, and we always recommend that people stay local for at least a few weeks after an op.

A long car journey puts him at risk of DVT
IF He has wound complications etc he needs to be able to be seen
He will be very sore and will not feel like a long car journey so soon

WiddlinDiddlin · 09/07/2023 23:56

I mean... you can, but it will cost a fair whack as you'll need to stick them on a train back at your cost as well as pay for their time...

But as above, there are reasons beyond physically driving the vehicle for someone to rest post surgery.

Can you not go on the train and he can drive down a few days later when he is clear to drive - that is still likely to be cheaper!

saltinesandcoffeecups · 10/07/2023 00:03

Why can’t you drive. 4 hours isn’t that long, but if it is for some reason then can you break it up?

UndercoverCop · 10/07/2023 00:11

I wouldn't consider 4 hours long distance tbh , you can stop after 2 have lunch a bit of a walk etc

SD1978 · 10/07/2023 00:14

What's the longest you can drive for, and how large a break do you need between? I'd go for that if it was an option, or a friend and pay their train fare back? Is there a hospital near by you can get to if your husband has an issue?

Original poster

HairyMaclaryfromDD · 10/07/2023 00:50

Thank you all. Yes there's a hospital nearby if we had any issues. It's keyhole surgery so recovery should be easier than open, but I fully take on board the comments about DVT. He'll still be on blood thinners by then and in stockings I think.

Me doing it in short stages is a possibility but I think potentially a bit awful and frustrating for us all. Last resort maybe?

I'd love to ask a friend but it seems like such a cheek.

I've thought about going ahead by train but I don't really like the idea of him not having someone with him in case of signs of sepsis or anything like that. Not likely I know.

OP posts:

saltinesandcoffeecups · 10/07/2023 01:03

Me doing it in short stages is a possibility but I think potentially a bit awful and frustrating for us all. Last resort maybe?

How long can you drive in one go? What is the medical reason?

I ask because 1-2 hours is not an unreasonable amount of time to drive and if you can’t manage that then I wonder if you should be driving at all. I mean what happens if you’re on a short drive and get stuck in traffic

fancreek · 10/07/2023 04:05

Theres not a chance in hell I co s have sat in a car for 4 hours a few days after keyhole!! I think you need to consider that he just won't be up for it.

Pawpatrolsucks · 10/07/2023 04:16

If someone is relying on you to house sit, you need to give them the heads up you won’t be there for a week or so. When it comes to it he won’t be up to the travel. If something goes wrong while you are away you risk being left there with the kids.

HelpMeGetThrough · 10/07/2023 05:07

Chances are, if he can manage it, he is going to feel worse than shit at the other end.

I stupidly drove on holiday a week after having a hernia repair on my stomach, it was a 7 hour drive (1 stop) and I was a mess when I got the other end. Could barely get out of the car, just very ill.

Go by what the doctors say, which is what I didn't do and regretted it.

Zippedydodah · 10/07/2023 06:35

I certainly couldn’t have sat in a car for 4 hours after keyhole surgery, it was excruciating just coming home from hospital, a 30 minute drive.
I think you’re being completely unrealistic, generally after surgery you’re not allowed to drive for several weeks so he certainly won’t be able to drive a few days later if you go by train.

CadMan · 10/07/2023 06:37

Let him rest OP! If you want to go with the children I’m sure he’d welcome the break.

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