Thrive v Strive - House Edition

[Ontheroadyetagain]

YABU - strive for the big dream house even if it means no disposable income, clothes, holidays, etc when you’re living there

YANBU - live mortgage free in a comfortable but less wow house with loads of disposable income, option to work part time, etc

I think your question is framed in a way that will drive the same answer. Do you want people to validate you on YANBU to prove your point?

EDIT!
YABU includes struggling to pay large mortgage, bills, leaving no disposable income.

YANBU means no mortgage with smaller house but no money stress

does that make more sense?

Based on the very little information, the obvious answer is YABU. Is there more to this? What are pros and cons of each option. You have not shared any benefits of the large mortgage option.

Where are the two houses?

I suppose it’s would you rather have:

a big, nice house but practically no spare money so having to count every last penny

or

a smaller house with money to spare

@EmmaPaella
both in the same area, both comfortable accommodate the family

I wouldn't (and didn't) do either of those, as with most things in life; find a balance! We wanted a bigger home but couldn't afford exactly what we wanted where we were living, so we moved 20 miles to a cheaper area where we could get the dream house whilst maintaining the lifestyle we wanted. Pleased we didn't push ourselves too far given interest rates now, but equally glad we didn't play it too safe and are in a long term home not needing to move considering the market currently.

I'm not sure why it needs to be one extreme or the other.

We went for bigger house. Best decision we made. Bigger "risk" = bigger reward. All the houses have gone up at least 25% in the past 4 years (well, since covid) and so our "investment" has been a bigger pay off.
Also we bought at a time when both our salaries/earning potential was increasing, so four years on, we have more disposable income (plus money saved from no longer commuting/no holiday for 2 years etc)
It's also great having more space. Our old house was tiny even though it was cheaper.

Smaller house save your ass off for dream house

It depends on how old you are (ie how many years you would be paying/would be able to pay for a mortgage), what your health is like, what your employment situation is like, whether you have or intend to have children, whether you have expensive hobbies or like to travel or prefer to stay in with a good book, what your social life is like, etc etc etc.

In a black and white world I’d have a smaller house with money to spare. But, sometimes as a pp says, a bigger house pays off in the longer run. I agree a balance is probably best. A manageable mortgage is fine.